Close to His Heart Read online

  “What do you mean?”

  Telling him would be such a relief, but as she held his concerned gaze, she thought of what he had always said about Carson. How Carson admired him.

  Jace won’t believe you, the harsh voice from the past mocked her.

  She knew the voice was right.

  Chapter 7

  “Coffee. Medium roast to stay.” Jace stood before Tess and gave his order in a dispassionate voice.

  On Monday mornings, Tess worked for Claire, and when Claire’s other part-time help came, she went to the thrift store for the afternoon. He didn’t have the time to spare to come here, but even so, he left the pile of work sitting on his office desk and walked down the street to the coffee shop. All in the hope of building on the small advance he’d made with Tess on their “date.”

  Tess filled a ceramic mug and set it on the counter. When she held her hand out for his money, her gaze slipped upward, and he caught the faintest hint of yearning in her eyes.

  Since Saturday, he’d been itching to call her to make sure she was okay. All he could do was pray and trust that the kiss they had shared was the beginning of something. Anything. He had hoped that she would come to church. But Sunday came, and she had stayed away.

  “Busy this morning?” he asked, as he handed her his cash.

  “No more than usual.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “By the way, I’ve got a donation of an original painting by a friend of mine, but I can’t pick it up until six tonight. Her stuff usually sells pretty high, so I’m not comfortable leaving it at my apartment overnight.” She paused. “Are you working late at the office again?”

  Again? Had she noticed?

  “Yeah. Sure.” If Tess was coming by, he’d be there. He leaned one elbow on the counter, which brought him a little closer to Tess. “So, what are your plans for the weekend?”

  “Nothing special. Why do you ask?” To his surprise, she moved closer herself.

  He waited a moment. “I was wondering if you’d be interested in catching the movie showing at Eastbar this Friday.”

  Tess’s withdrawal would have gone unnoticed by anyone else, but Jace caught it. A slight darkening of her gaze, lips pressing together.

  Then, to his surprise, she shrugged. “I heard it’s funny.”

  “Funny is good.” He waited. She hadn’t said yes, but she hadn’t said no, either. The doorbell jangled, and another customer came into the shop. Jace moved away from the counter with his coffee. He sat where he could watch Tess. Whenever he looked over at her he caught her watching him as well. Then her eyes would slip away.

  One step at a time, he thought, sipping his coffee and watching her watch him.

  She was rinsing an empty coffee jug in the sink when he stood to follow up on the movie invitation. His cell phone rang, and he saw it was Carson.

  Instead of asking her out, Jace waved goodbye and answered the phone.

  “Hello, Carson,” he said, as he pulled open the door of the shop. “What can I do for you?”

  “Just checking in,” Carson said, his gravelly voice resonating across the airwaves. “Heard that you’re doing a great job back there in Sweet Creek.”

  “Things seem to be coming together both on and off the job,” Jace said, striding down the street. Hearing his boss’s voice was enough to make him straighten his back and pick up his pace.

  “Yeah, I heard you coaxed some well-known singer out of retirement to sing at the fundraiser. That’s quite a feat. I’m proud of you, son.”

  Though Carson’s admiration warmed Jace’s heart, he had to give credit where it was due. “I didn’t have much to do with Helen Lennox, I’m afraid. That was all Tess.”

  “Is she still involved in the fundraiser?”

  Carson sounded surprised. If Jace were honest with himself, he had to admit that Tess’s dedication surprised him as well. Though she won the challenge, she was still finding people to donate items. On Friday, she had brought in a hand-knit sweater from an elderly woman who had heard about the fundraiser from a friend of a friend. Now this painting from another one of her contacts.

  “Tess and I had a little contest to see who could get more donations, and she beat me handily. I had to take her out for dinner as a result.”

  “Really. Just like old times, eh?”

  Not exactly, Jace thought, remembering the various emotions that had slipped over Tess’s features—and how their kiss affected him. Time had changed much for both of them, but to his surprise and dismay, the old attraction had returned so easily, he knew it had never fully left.

  “Yeah. Just like old times,” he murmured.

  “That’s good...I suppose.” Jace heard the reservations in Carson’s voice.

  “You don’t sound thrilled.”

  Carson’s sigh underlined his uncertainty. “I’ll be blunt, Jace. You’ve got a bright future. Sweet Creek is only a stopover. From the things I’m hearing about your work there, you’ve got good things waiting for you here in Vancouver.”

  Jace’s heart lurched at the inherent promise in Carson’s voice. “I’m glad to hear that,” he said, keeping his comment purposely vague.

  “You need to keep focused. Keep your eye on the prize, so to speak. Someone like Tess could, potentially, be a hindrance to you.”

  Jace frowned, pausing at the corner of the street. A client of his smiled and waved, and he waved back.

  “Tess doesn’t have staying power, Jace,” Carson continued. “Normally, I don’t like to interfere in my employees’ personal lives, but in your case, I have a stake in your success. I don’t want to see you throw it away.”

  Jace understood the subtext. Thanks to Carson’s financial support, Jace had graduated with minimal student debt. Though Jace initially felt guilty and had tried to find ways to repay him, Carson kept expressing his gratitude for Jace saving Chuck’s life the night of the accident. He kept telling Jace that all he wanted as repayment was a commitment from Jace to work for him.

  Which Jace did without hesitation. He and Tess had both admired and respected Carson and, it seemed, the feeling from Carson was mutual. When he, Chuck, and Tess were all offered summer jobs at his company, it had seemed like a dream come true instead of an obligation.

  Now, he was looking at a huge move up the career ladder. His life was on track, and he was moving in the direction he had mapped out for himself.

  “I truly appreciate the affirmation,” Jace said as he pushed open the door of his office. “But, I believe you’re wrong about Tess.”

  He wished he could find the right words to explain to Carson how he felt. Tess had been a huge part of his life and success. Not only had she challenged him to change the course of his life when he and Chuck were palling around in high school, but after that horrific accident, it had been her words ringing through his head as he lay in the hospital. He’d never forget that she was the one who gave him the Bible that he’d found such comfort in. Although Carson had supplied the financial means, it was Tess who had inspired him to turn back to God.

  That she was on a different path now had something to do with that summer six years ago, and he was determined to find out what it was. Maybe not this weekend or the next, but eventually he would discover what made her drop out of his life, quit school, and travel halfway around the world.

  Carson sighed. “I don’t think someone like Tess would be an asset to you. Besides, she’s not moving from Sweet Creek and those wacky little jobs she’s holding down.”

  Jace understood Carson’s frustration. Hadn’t he felt exactly the same?

  But Jace had known Tess longer than Carson had, and since working on the fundraiser with her, he’d caught flashes of the Tess he used to know. Those glimpses into who she had been and could be gave him a ray of hope that he would find her again.

  Jace stopped at the reception desk and shuffled one-handed through the mail. Callie handed him a couple of phone messages.

  “Important?” he mouthed, holding up the messages. />
  Callie was about to reply when her phone rang. He waved her off, then put the stack of messages on top of a letter he was waiting for and headed down the hall.

  “I gave that girl every chance that you and Chuck got. And she threw it all back in my face when she left. No words of thanks for the job I’d given her, no explanation. Nothing. As Chuck said, that should speak to her character,” Carson was saying.

  Jace felt a riffle of anger at Carson’s comment. “I don’t think Tess’s character is up for debate by Chuck.”

  “You’re right. I apologize.” Carson was quiet a moment. “At any rate, I just wanted to touch base with you. See how things are going.”

  “Good. The donations are coming and lots of them are really worthwhile.”

  “Glad to hear that. Are you staying at your parent’s ranch?”

  “Yes.”

  This was followed by a curious moment of silence, then Carson spoke again. “I thought I should let you know that I’ve been talking to your mother about the ranch.”

  This was a surprise to Jace. “That’s interesting. My mother never mentioned this to me.”

  “I spoke to her a few days ago,” Carson said. “Chuck was the one who gave me the idea. Thought, now that your mother was living away and you’re not interested in running the ranch, she might think of selling.”

  “What did she say?”

  “She said that I should speak with you.”

  Which surprised Jace even more. Why did his mother think he would want to have any say in what happened to the ranch? “I’ll need to talk to her before I make any decision.” He was little out of kilter even considering it, and was surprised his mother was. How long would she hold onto the ranch? His sister wasn’t coming back, and neither was he.

  “Of course.”

  “I’m curious, however, why you would be interested in purchasing it.” Jace compared the house on the ranch to the one that Carson and his wife owned in Vancouver.

  “Sweet Creek is a lovely place. I know Chuck has talked about building a summer home there. Now that the ski hill is under new management, I can see some tourism potential. And as close as it is to town, there are lots of possibilities for development as well.”

  Although his business consisted of doing exactly what Carson was suggesting, Jace was surprised at the beat of anger the thought gave him.

  You have no attachment to the place, he reminded himself. You have no desire to stay.

  Even as the thoughts challenged him, others rose up. Memories of riding in the hills with Tess. Catching kisses along the seclusion of the river. The freedom he felt, in spite of what the ranch represented, when he was outside herding cows and baling hay. As long as his mother still owned the ranch, he felt as if those memories were still his, were still alive.

  He shook off the notion, recognizing it for the sentimental foolishness it was.

  “I’ll call her tonight and discuss this with her,” Jace said.

  “Excellent.” Carson sounded quite pleased with himself, which generated another tremor of unease. He knew how Chuck and Carson worked, and he especially knew how ruthless Chuck could be. What would they have in mind for his father’s place? “Let me know what you and your mother decide,” Carson said. “Have you had a chance to meet with the Chamber of Commerce yet?”

  “No. Their last meeting had a full agenda, and I’m still not sure what angle to take.” Jace picked a file off his desk, and soon he and Carson were talking business. Once he was done with Carson, Jace tried to call his mother, but there was no answer. He left a message, then opened his computer to get some work done for clients.

  The day slipped past, and by the time his secretary left, Jace felt as if he had done two days’ work in one. He looked up from the computer and blinked at the clock. It was 5:36 p.m. He smiled. Tess said she was coming by with a painting. He’d have a chance to press her about the movie.

  But an hour and a half later, Tess still hadn’t shown up, nor was she answering her cell phone. Jace recalled Carson’s comment. Was she unreliable?

  Or was she simply afraid to see him again?

  He waited ten more minutes then called her at home, but there was no answer.

  He didn’t have a chance to follow up on why she hadn’t come because the next day, he left for Vancouver. He had to catch up on his workload there.

  Even though he told himself he didn’t care about Tess and her lack of responsibility, that didn’t stop him from checking his cell phone and his personal e-mail while he was in the city. The entire time he was there, he received no message from her.

  Was she doing it again?

  He tried to ignore that nagging thought. Did it bother him because her no-show underlined what Carson had hinted about her? Or because she was avoiding him? He had thought their moment by the river, their shared kiss, had as much of an impact on her as it had on him.

  Tired of his spinning thoughts and how Tess was taking them over again, he called his mother from his condo. She answered on the third ring, the pleasure in her voice making him immediately guilty that he had waited so long to call her.

  “I heard you were back in Sweet Creek,” she said, a hopeful note in her voice. “Are you staying at the ranch?”

  “Of course I am. Like old times.”

  His mother was quiet a moment. “Were you glad to be back?”

  Jace walked to the floor-to-ceiling window of his condo, looking over a forest of buildings. He didn’t make enough to afford the primo residences along Coal Harbor, but if he angled his head just right, he could catch the sun glinting off the water of the harbor, the greenery of Stanley Park, and just beyond the park, a sliver of the mountains.

  He made a quick comparison to the dingy house at the ranch, but with the incredible views from his bedroom window. The uninterrupted vistas of the mountains and the valley they sheltered.

  “It was okay.”

  “Just okay,” she teased, but Jace heard her hurt tone.

  “Actually, it was good to be back,” he assured her.

  “Too bad the horses are gone. You could have gone riding.”

  “It’s okay. I’m pretty busy with the fundraiser.”

  They talked about the fundraiser for a while. Talk moved to other people in Sweet Creek, and Jace managed to avoid mentioning Tess’s name, though he knew his mother was itching to ask about her.

  She’d have to find that from her other Sweet Creek sources, he figured.

  He talked to his niece—he smiled at her excited babbling—chatted a moment with his sister, and when his mother came back on the phone, he got to the point of his call.

  “So, Carson was talking to me about the ranch. Something about you selling it?”

  “Yes. Well. I’m pretty happy here, and you’ll be leaving soon. When Chuck called me with the offer, I thought it time to sell and move on.”

  Jace was surprised at the unreasonable stab of annoyance that created. That Chuck had spoken to his mother before discussing it with him.

  It’s your mother’s property.

  But still....

  He caught himself. “Are you short of money?” he asked his mother. He’d been sending her a monthly check ever since he started making a decent wage.

  “No. I told you, I’m quite content with what I have, and you can stop sending me those checks. While its lovely and I appreciate the help, truth is, I’ve been putting them in an account for the grandchildren.”

  “So, why do you want to sell?”

  “Why do you want to keep it?”

  His mother’s quiet question lodged in a deeper, younger part of him. The part that held other memories of time spent with his father. Though he had always said he couldn’t leave Sweet Creek fast enough, lately, his work and the money he was making didn’t satisfy. He hadn’t wanted to acknowledge it, but the thoughts were pushing more and more to the surface.

  “I’m not sure.”

  “In that case, I don’t think we should sell it yet.”


  “I’ll tell Carson and Chuck,” he said, surprised at the relief he felt. He shook it off as he glanced around his condo, reminding himself of the difference between this place and the ranch house. He was doing well, and if the work he was doing in Sweet Creek satisfied Carson, he would be doing even better. He could buy a place along the waterfront, a better car and...

  And?

  The unfinished question floated through his plans like an unwelcome ghost, settling into the corner of his mind that held a dream he didn’t dare articulate.

  He was supposed to be sharing this life with Tess. Their plan had been to work hard, get married. Raise a family. Somewhere, hovering in the back of those dreams, was the vague idea of moving back to Sweet Creek once they’d made their money. Maybe fix up the ranch.

  With a shake of his head he dislodged the dream. His reality was his work here and his job with Carson.

  He finished his conversation with his mother and wandered aimlessly around his condo. Frustrated with his dissatisfaction, he grabbed his car keys. A few moments later, he was out in the streets, not sure where he was going. Maybe he’d grab supper at that new restaurant Chuck had been raving about. He’d taken his latest date there. But Jace couldn’t find it, and without realizing where he was headed, he found himself driving through Stanley Park. He found a parking spot and stepped out into the cool evening air. It wasn’t fully summer so when the sun dipped behind the mountains, it was cool, especially here among the trees.

  Just like at the ranch back home.

  He stepped out of his car and shoved his hands in his pockets. A few minutes later, he walked along the seawall, alone and struggling with a sense of discontent he hadn’t felt in years. In fact, since he had lived at his parent’s ranch.

  This was so wrong. He moved here because of that discontent, and now it was hounding him again, making him doubt his decisions. Was it really the ranch that had engendered this feeling of wanting more? He had more, and he was still feeling it?

  He sat on a bench and, on a whim, called Tess. He wanted to ask her why she hadn’t come. Wanted to find out why she had changed from the woman who was always so responsible to this aimless, wandering person.