Close to His Heart Read online

  “This time I am. She’s going up to Cranbrook for the weekend.”

  “I checked already. Claire said she was taking her kids. And your mother doesn’t need you for anything.”

  Tess needed to have a chat with her sister. Last she checked, Claire was going alone. She better not be up to anything.

  Jace quirked a brow. “As far as I know, there’s no special market day within a two-hour drive, nor are you working at Claire’s coffee shop or the thrift store that night.”

  As she held his gaze, her mind slipped back to that evening in Sheila’s basement. When he had touched her, and she had thought her heart would jump out of her chest. She had held his wrist and caught the scent of his cologne, and something at the core of her being shifted.

  She had missed him so much her heart ached. An ache she couldn’t act on.

  So, she had ignored his phone calls and messages about dinner. There was no way she could go out with him and pretend as if everything was fine.

  “I’m not quitting until you agree.”

  Why he was bothering with her? His persistence ignited a spark of yearning, which she quashed. If he knew...

  “If you keep putting me off, I’ll think something else is going on,” he said.

  “Okay. Fine.” She glared at him, hating the pressure. But his comment about finding out secrets bothered her more. “I get to pick the place.”

  Jace raised his hands in a gesture of surrender. “How could I forget?”

  She let her gaze rove over his suit and made a sudden decision.

  “Why don’t we do D.J.’s Saturday night?”

  “D.J.’s? Not the Sweet Creek Inn?”

  Tess shook her head. “We’ll do takeout and eat by the river.”

  “Okay. It’s your choice. I’ll pick you up at five o’clock.”

  Tess thought that was the end of that. Until Jace took a step closer. Don’t step back. Don’t move away. Stand your ground. But she couldn’t stop her breath from coming faster and her heart from pounding a little harder.

  Jace frowned, as if sensing her discomfort, and touched her cheek. Just the faintest brush of his fingers, hearkening back to a time when she would have welcomed his touch.

  “Are you afraid of me?”

  She chanced another look into his eyes, then over his familiar features. In her mind, she saw herself tracing the scar on the side of his face with her finger like she used to. It was her way of letting him know that she saw the faint disfigurement as part of him. If anything, the scar created an air of mystery and danger that Tess knew still could smolder beneath Jace’s now-benign expression.

  “Did I do something to make you fearful of me?” he pressed.

  She could see his pulse at the base of his neck, could smell the scent of his aftershave. She wavered.

  Then his cell phone rang and Tess was spared.

  He pulled it out of his pocket, frowned at it, and stepped away from her. “Sorry. I have to take this. It’s Carson.”

  Tess nodded, her pulse racing.

  “I’ll come for you on Saturday,” he said. “Don’t forget.”

  “I won’t.” And then she fled.

  Blue jeans. T-shirt. Cardigan. Chunky necklace.

  Tess laid the clothes out on the bed and examined them once more. She and Jace were just going out for hamburgers, not a full-on date, yet she fretted about the color of the T-shirt, the cut of the blue jeans. Was the lacy knee-length cardigan out of place? Should she wear running shoes or the leather boots she found at the thrift store? Would Jace notice that the boots were secondhand? Would he care? Why wasn’t she wearing the orange silk shirt she had originally planned? Was she trying to prove something?

  This was ridiculous.

  She yanked on her blue jeans, slipped on the T-shirt, cardigan, and necklace. She looked fine. A little more conservative than usual, but fine. Just fine.

  In the bathroom, she applied a hint of mascara to her lashes, added a spritz of perfume, and pulled her hair into a ponytail. She caught her reflection in the mirror. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright.

  She let her hair drop, her mind drifting back, once again, to that moment in Sheila’s basement when Jace’s hand had tangled in her hair.

  How she had wished his hand would linger.

  She yanked her hair back and twisted an elastic band around it. Jace was living up to his obligations by taking her out. Nothing more was going on between them. In a couple of months, he would be gone—back to his job in Vancouver and out of her life.

  Her hands stilled, and she felt a brush of sorrow. Then she shook it off. He’s not for you, Tess Kraus, she thought as she marched into the living room to wait.

  Ten minutes later, she sat perched on the edge of her couch, paging mindlessly through a magazine she’d already read, trying not to look at the clock.

  Jace was eight minutes late. She tossed the magazine aside and walked to the window of her apartment, but there was no sign of his car.

  Twenty minutes later, she had organized her spices and tidied her jewelry box. She looked around for something else to do, then shook her head.

  No way was she waiting around her apartment. She grabbed her car keys from the hook hanging by the door, then yanked open the door and stopped.

  Jace stood directly in front of her, still wearing a suit, his face flushed and his hand lifted to knock.

  “I’m so sorry,” he said. He shoved his hand through his hair in a gesture that was so familiar, it raised a gentle ache in Tess’s heart. “I got a frantic call from Allen Andrews, the chairman. Mr. Rialto, the fundraiser’s speaker, might cancel on us. Allen and I were trying to come up with a backup plan.”

  “No way.” Tess felt Jace’s disappointment. Stuart Rialto had been as big a catch as Helen Lennox. He was a motivational speaker and comedian who had been booked eighteen months in advance.

  “It’s not definite, but we had to do some brainstorming. That’s why I’m late.”

  “Have you come up with anything?”

  “Allen is following through on a few possible replacements, though it’s hard to find someone on such short notice.”

  “It would be such a disappointment if Rialto bailed.”

  “Yeah. But thanks to you, we’ve got Helen. Ticket sales are going very well.” He shrugged, looking sheepish. “Sorry. I don’t want to talk about the fundraiser. And again, sorry I’m late. You look like you were leaving?”

  “I didn’t feel like waiting around.” Tess glanced at his suit. “I’m not holding you to this, though.”

  “You can. I’ve been looking forward to this.”

  “Hamburgers?”

  “Haven’t had a D.J.’s burger for years.”

  Tess locked the door of her apartment behind her, then double-checked the door and the deadbolt.

  “It’s probably okay,” Jace said with a trace of bemusement.

  “Doesn’t hurt to check.” Tess gave the door another rattle, then turned to Jace. “Shall we go?”

  “I’ve got my car here. Unless you want to go in separate vehicles.”

  “No. You lost the contest. You can pay for gas.” Tess kept her tone carefree, but she couldn’t repress an odd sense of excitement.

  No one was lined up at D.J.’s when they got there. Jace parked, and when they got out, Tess had to smile at the sight of his fancy car sitting beside a dusty pickup truck. She ordered her usual: a bacon and cheese burger, with a side of fries and a large orange pop.

  “Still?” Jace said. He chuckled and put in his own order.

  “What do you mean?”

  “You always ordered the same when...” his sentence faded and Tess guessed what he would say next.

  “It’s a good burger.” That’s all she would say.

  After they got their burgers, Tess directed him as he drove to the park along the river. While Tess got out, Jace took a cardboard box and a blanket from the backseat of the car.

  “Dessert,” he said, holding up the box at
her puzzled look. “Strawberry cheesecake. Got it from the bakery during my lunch hour.”

  He remembered my favorite dessert.

  Tess felt a twinge of pleasure, and on the heels of that, a flutter of anticipation.

  Jace caught her gaze, and for a breathless moment, awareness arced between them.

  She looked away.

  “Can’t wait.” Tess turned and walked over the spongy grass to a large aspen tree perched along the edge of the river. The sun warmed her shoulders through the material of her sweater. From the branches of a tree, a robin sent his song into the spring air.

  The idyllic setting eased Tess’s nerves.

  “We can eat here,” she said, pointing to a space under the tree.

  Jace set the box down, spread the blanket out, and settled himself on one edge. Tess eyed the blanket. “That’s not very big.”

  “Big enough.” Jace glanced at her and smiled. “You don’t take up much space.”

  Though the day had been unseasonably warm for spring, she knew the ground would still be damp. She gave in and sat on the edge of the blanket, then opened the bag with her burger and fries. She bent over and took a deep sniff. “Burgers. So much more than just a fast food.”

  She was about to figure out what she would eat first—and how to eat it—when Jace nudged her arm.

  He held out a plate with a plastic knife and fork resting on top. “Thought I would make this a little easier on me,” he said with a crooked grin.

  Tess gave him an answering smile and gladly took the plate. “Thanks. I hadn’t figured this would turn into fine dining.”

  “Remind me to take you out to a really fancy restaurant sometime,” Jace said with a grin, as he dumped his fries beside his burger on his own plate.

  “So, why did you pick burgers by the river instead of salmon at the inn?” Jace asked, dipping a french fry into a pile of ketchup.

  Tess shrugged. “I like the ambience here.”

  “Well, works good for me. Cheap date.”

  Not a date. She decided it would be easier to let the comment slide.

  “Surely a hotshot developer like you doesn’t have to worry about money,” she teased instead, fishing a pickle from her burger.

  “I still have a few debts to pay.”

  “Student loans?”

  “A few. Not as many as I would have. Carson has been tremendous in supporting and encouraging me.” He gave her a careful smile. “I know you’re not crazy about Chuck, but I’m indebted to him too. He gave me a place to stay while I studied, and he’s been a listening ear through...some bad times.”

  Jace stopped there, but Tess sensed the bad times had much to do with her.

  “So, I owe the MacGregors, big time,” he said.

  She looked away and picked up a fry, disappointed to see her fingers trembling. “What’s next for Jace Scholte?” she said, her tone flippant as a way of covering her moment of weakness.

  “I have some goals.”

  “Like...” When she and Jace were dating, they often talked about the things they wanted to do and the people they wanted to save. They both were on fire with a desire to do justice and to see justice served.

  They both had been so naïve.

  “I want to make my mother proud. I want to make Carson proud that he helped me.”

  “It’s evident how much their respect means to you.” Tess kept her voice light as she swirled another fry through a puddle of ketchup on her plate.

  “I feel like I owe it to both of them. I know I’ve been blessed.”

  “Do you feel God has blessed you, too?” She couldn’t help the harsh tone of her voice, but it slipped out.

  “I believe God has blessed me with brains, health, and opportunities, yes. It would be wrong not to use them.” Jace slipped his jacket off and rolled up his sleeves.

  Tess popped the fry in her mouth, hoping she sounded more relaxed than she felt. “You still go to church?”

  Jace nodded, tossing her a quick sidelong glance. “I need to go. I have to be reminded that I need God in my life, and I need to be in community with other believers.” He wiped his mouth and dropped the napkin in the paper bag. “What about you? I notice you don’t go regularly.”

  She shrugged. “People change.”

  “You changed a lot, Tess. You were the one who challenged me.” Jace gave her a wry look. “You were the one who told me God would not be mocked. It was because of you I started attending church.”

  Tess heard the faintest hint of consternation tingeing his voice, but she didn’t let it slip through her defenses.

  “God and I don’t see eye to eye anymore.” But even as she spoke the words, she felt a twinge of older emotions, of deeper connections with the Lord. At one time she and God had a relationship, just as at one time, she and Jace had.

  Both relationships had been shattered that horrible day, six years ago.

  She chanced a quick look at Jace and was agitated when her eyes were drawn into his intense gaze.

  She couldn’t look away.

  “It bothers me that you’ve turned your back on God. Why did you?” Jace leaned forward, his arms resting on his knees.

  She wanted to shrug away his concern, but she also felt an urge to let him see her life from her perspective. He was an old friend, and on that basis, he deserved to know more than what she had given him.

  She said, “I always did the right thing. Pleased the right people—my mom, my friends, my teachers. When things got difficult for me, I decided I was tired of working so hard to be what everyone else wanted me to be. I decided I was going to take a break. Just do things that caught my fancy or my attention.”

  Jace laughed, but he sounded puzzled. “Working at the inn, the coffee shop, the thrift store, and the farmer’s market was a part of that break?”

  “I know it sounds provincial of me, but I enjoyed it at first.” Tess turned her attention back to the last few fries on her plate. She wasn’t hungry anymore.

  “At first,” Jace prompted.

  Too late she realized her slip. She shouldn’t have been surprised that he caught it. He was trained, after all, to catch inconsistencies.

  “Any job loses its glow after a while,” she conceded.

  “If you could pick your ideal job, what would it be?”

  Tess set her plate aside and wrapped her arms around her knees, staring out over the water as it flowed past her. “I would like to help people. People who are lost. Confused.”

  A silence followed this small confession, broken only by the murmur of water over rocks.

  “I want you to know I’ve been thinking about you,” Jace said finally, his voice somber. “Ever since you left. Hoping and praying you’d be okay.”

  His words created a hungering ache in her chest. She hadn’t been able to pray years ago, when she took the cab to the airport, when she sat hunched on the airplane staring sightlessly out of the window, feeling afraid and unworthy.

  She hadn’t been able to pray when she phoned her parents and told them she was in Europe and that she needed money.

  “Maybe you should have prayed before...”

  Jace frowned. “Before what?”

  She shook her head, backtracking from the dangerous edge she’d been slipping toward.

  She hesitated and Jace moved closer, put his hand on her arm. Tess didn’t even stop to think as she covered his hand with hers and let her fingers slide back and forth over his knuckles. She half turned, and their gazes locked.

  “Tess.” Her name came out on a sigh, and then Jace reached out his other hand and stroked her cheek and her hair. His fingers trailed gently over her face, and then he cupped her face. And then, incredibly, he leaned closer. His face blurred and as her eyes slid shut, she felt his lips touch hers.

  The initial contact was so feather-light, she might have imagined it, yet her heart thundered its response. She caught him by the shoulder, and then they were in each other’s arms, his mouth moving over hers.


  The years had melted away, and they were once again Tess and Jace, young and in love.

  Jace pulled back, his expression tender as his eyes scanned her face. “I missed you,” he said, his deep and achingly familiar voice washing over her.

  “I missed you, too.” Her heart stuttered, and a lump rose in her throat. She couldn’t cry—not now. Not when things were so fragile.

  Jace touched her face again. “What happened, Tess? What went wrong? Why did you leave?”

  His concern tugged at her.

  Would he understand?

  Would he believe her?

  “I was so worried about you. I tried and tried to call you. Even Chuck and Carson helped me try to find you. We couldn’t find anything out.”

  Her breath knotted in her throat.

  Too close. Too close. She couldn’t do this.

  She pulled away.

  “Sorry, Jace. But I gotta go.”

  “Go where?”

  She shook her head. “Doesn’t matter. I want to go.”

  He lifted one hand, and unconsciously she jerked away. As soon as she did, she felt foolish. This was Jace. The man who had always been so tender and caring. She was about to apologize, but he didn’t give her the chance.

  “Tess. No. Please...I wouldn’t hurt you.” Jace’s voice was full of anguish as he lowered his hand. “I’m sorry, it’s just...”

  The distress in his voice cut her like a knife. She got up anyway.

  Not trusting herself to talk, she packed, tossing the remnants of her food into one of the takeout bags. Jace said nothing as he folded the blanket.

  Tess handed him the plates and utensils, and together in silence, they walked back to the car. Jace opened the door for her, and Tess looked from it to him and shook her head. “I’d like to walk home.”

  “That’ll take you over an hour,” Jace protested. “I brought you here—I’ll bring you home.”

  After the confusion of emotions she had just gone through, she needed time alone. Time to sort through what had happened.

  “Please, Jace. I need space.”

  Jace tightened his grip a little as if to anchor her to him.

  “You’re not running away again, are you?”

  She shook her head. “I’ve nowhere else to go.”