Trusting the Cowboy Read online

  Lauren entered the back cooler, enjoying the rainbow colors of roses, forsythia, tulips and dozens of other flowers whose names she slowly recalled. There in one corner, she caught the distinctive green of the bells of Ireland. She grabbed the container, shivering as she closed the cooler behind her.

  “Now I know these aren’t often put together in a bouquet,” Aunt Laura said as she tugged a few out of the tub and slipped them into an arrangement. “But I think it could look dramatic. What do you think, Jodie?”

  “I like it,” Jodie said, but Lauren sensed she wasn’t enthusiastic.

  Aunt Laura tugged some baby’s breath and wove it in.

  “This might help,” she said with a hopeful note.

  “That does soften it a little.”

  But the forced smile told Lauren that Jodie had a different vision.

  Lauren gathered up some of the discarded roses and lilies. She wove in some pussy willows and few hyacinths and added boronia, a cluster of small bell-like flowers.

  “Oh, what’s that?” Jodie said, moving over to where Lauren worked. “That’s awesome.”

  “Oh, I was just fooling around,” Lauren said, setting the bouquet on the table, self-conscious.

  Her aunt looked from the flowers she had just put together, then at Lauren’s bouquet. “You always did have a good eye for composition. I remember when you worked here, I couldn’t keep up with the demand for your arrangements.”

  Lauren wiped her hands on her slacks. “It’s fun. I just like trying different combinations.”

  “What would you do for bridesmaids?” Aunt Laura asked.

  “I was just experimenting. You’re the florist.”

  “And you’re the one with talent. I’d like to see what else you would do.” Aunt Laura’s bright smile showed Lauren that she wasn’t hurt. In fact, she seemed interested.

  “Okay. How about we do this.” Lauren reluctantly reached down to a tub of peonies and made a tight bouquet with them. She added a couple of the roses and some baby’s breath this time. “This is a rough idea. We could frame it with banana leaves or, if you want to go more girly, with a circle of tulle.”

  “Oh, I like that,” Jodie breathed, suddenly more animated.

  “See, you have the gift,” Aunt Laura said. “I think we should talk about you helping me out with the wedding flowers.”

  Lauren wasn’t sure she would be able to help much. She would be in the middle of setting up her new business right before the wedding.

  But as she looked over the flowers on the table, she felt a yearning she couldn’t ignore. “We’ll see” was all she said.

  “And now I think we need to have tea.”

  They followed their aunt up the back stairs to her apartment. A few moments later they sat around her dining room table, munching on sugar cookies.

  The lights were turned low, and the classical music Aunt Laura loved played softly in the background. For the first time since she’d come back to Saddlebank, Lauren felt at ease. Comfortable. Relaxed.

  “So, tell me, have you girls heard anything from Erin yet?” Aunt Laura asked, sitting down across from them, her gray hair cut in a bob, her eyes looking from one to the other.

  “I tried to call her, but she didn’t answer her phone,” Lauren said. “She sent me a text shortly after, though. She’s been busy. At least that’s her excuse.”

  “I’m just wondering why she won’t talk to us,” Jodie said, stirring yet another spoonful of sugar into her tea. “It’s like she’s avoiding us.”

  “She used to do that more often,” Aunt Laura said, wiping a crumb of sugar from her lips. “I remember these intentional forays into melancholy she used to indulge in. She always was more introverted than either of you girls.”

  “I remember Dad getting so ticked at her when she would wander off into the hills and not come back for hours.” Jodie released a light laugh that held little humor. “He could be so hard-nosed.”

  “Jodie. Careful,” Lauren reprimanded. “Don’t speak—”

  “Ill of the dead,” Jodie chimed in, giving her sister a sly wink to show her that her comment didn’t bother her. “Gramma’s mantra. I know, but it’s still hard. Even in spite of the letters of apology he wrote both of us.”

  “Your father had his...moments,” Aunt Laura said. “I just wish you could have spoken to him before he died. Gotten some of this stuff out of the way.”

  “Would he have said in person the things he wrote in our letters?” Lauren asked, taking a sip of her tea.

  “Maybe. The actual words of apology were hard for him. He would do other things to show he was sorry.” Aunt Laura gave them a sorrowful smile. “I hope you can appreciate that the letters he wrote you were a big deal for him. I know he spent hours sitting at his table in the café writing them. I hope it gives you a different view of him and, at the same time, a different view of the ranch. It’s been in the family for decades.”

  Guilt suffused Lauren at her aunt’s offhand comment.

  “I know it’s been handed down through the generations and I’m sorry none of us will be taking it over.” Lauren glanced over at Jodie. “Finn doesn’t want it, and well...” She let her comment fade away, not sure she wanted her aunt to know how important the money was to her.

  Aunt Laura waved her hands as if erasing what she had just said. “I wasn’t saying you need to hang on to it just because it’s a family heirloom. I want you to have some good memories of your father here. It was a part of your life and it’s a good place. I know I have good memories from living there. I just wanted to know that you did, too.”

  Her aunt looked so distressed Lauren clasped her aunt’s hands between hers to reassure her. “It’s okay, Auntie. I do have good memories. It’s just...”

  “I’m so sorry I brought it up,” Aunt Laura said. “I know your father was hard to live with. And, well, he had his reasons.”

  “Jodie told me you read her letter,” Lauren said.

  “Yes. I did.”

  “I hope that’s okay,” Jodie said to her. “Auntie was visiting one afternoon and it was on the table.”

  “Of course it is,” Lauren said. “It was yours to show to whoever you wanted. But I guess I was thinking of what Dad said in Jodie’s letter. About Mom cheating on him. Was that true?”

  Aunt Laura pushed a few granules of sugar that had fallen off her napkin into a tiny pile as she seemed to ponder what Lauren had said.

  “It was,” she said. “Your mother wasn’t a happy wife.”

  “Why not?”

  “Your father never said anything in your letter, Lauren? About his marriage?”

  “It was a lot of the same stuff that he told Jodie. That he was sorry he wasn’t a better father. He said something in mine about his own struggles and he did say that he suspected Mom had cheated on him.”

  “I never wanted to say anything to you girls, and the truth was, it didn’t matter so much.” Aunt Laura carefully added a few more granules to her pile. “Your parents were already divorced. Like your grandmother said, I didn’t want to cast any aspersions on your mother’s character by speaking ill of the dead. But I think you need to know that your parents had to get married,” she said.

  “Had to?” Lauren’s question broke into her aunt’s statement. “As in, she was pregnant?”

  “With you and Erin,” Aunt Laura said, giving her an apologetic smile. “Your mom had just moved to Saddlebank and needed a job. I hired her at the flower shop and introduced them. She was fun and vivacious, and Keith, well, he’d always leaned toward the darker side, so I thought she would be good for him. Keith liked your mother well enough, but I don’t think he ever planned to marry her. He had his own dreams. After our father died, Keith wanted to sell the ranch and join the marines. But when he found out your mother was expecting, h
e stepped up to his responsibilities. In retrospect, while it seemed the right thing to do at the time, it might not have been the best decision for either of them.”

  Aunt Laura paused, and Lauren glanced over at Jodie, gauging her reaction. She looked just as stunned as she felt.

  “The cracks in their marriage started showing right away. They got worse after you were born,” Aunt Laura continued, looking from one sister to the other. “Your mother would drive to Bozeman and go shopping, spending money your father didn’t have. Your father wasn’t a cattleman. He inherited the ranch from our father, so he rented it out and started working for the county as a sheriff’s deputy. He loved his job. It was the closest he ever came to becoming a marine. But he didn’t make a lot of money, so that caused other problems.”

  Lauren listened, trying to process what Aunt Laura was saying. She tried to balance it with her own memories of her mother, a sad woman who often complained about their father.

  “Was their marriage all bad?” Jodie asked.

  “No, honey. Not all bad.” Aunt Laura gave both of them a smile. “Your father did love his family. And while he loved being in Saddlebank, ranching wasn’t his first love. So I don’t know if this helps you see your father in a different light. I’m hoping it makes you all a bit more sympathetic toward him. He may not have been the nicest person, but he was my brother and I miss him.”

  Lauren heard the choked note in her aunt’s voice and both she and Jodie reached across the table and took her hand.

  “Of course you do,” Lauren assured her. “We do, too.”

  Aunt Laura gave them both a wavery smile. “I don’t want to put anything more on your shoulders or influence your decision. I know you have your reasons and I’m sure they’re good ones, but I am going to be sorry to see the ranch go to a stranger.” She sat up and pushed her chair away. “And now we’ve had our confession time. You get to see a side of your parents you never did and I got to unload a secret that should have been told a long time ago. I think this calls for another cup of tea and some more cookies.”

  After she walked away, Lauren looked at Jodie, who had a puzzled expression on her face.

  “Do we really need to do this?” Jodie whispered, leaning closer to Lauren.

  “Do what?”

  “Sell the ranch to that guy?”

  “I’m not going to run it, you said Finn wasn’t interested, and we both know Vic can’t pay what Alex is offering. Besides, does it really matter who owns the ranch?” Lauren whispered back, shooting a quick glance to the kitchen, where Aunt Laura was making a fresh pot of tea. “You’re established, Erin doesn’t seem to want to come back and I’ll be gone.”

  “I know. That’s part of the problem.”

  “I’m not a rancher,” Lauren murmured. “And I’ve no intention of becoming one. And while I’d love to stick around—”

  “Would you?” Jodie asked, a pained note in her voice. “Would you really?”

  “I would. Really,” Lauren said, stroking her sister’s shoulder. “I would love to be close to you. But I need to be realistic. I need to make a living. Take care of myself.”

  “I thought the same thing,” Jodie said. “And then I met Finn.”

  “Well, you were lucky. I don’t see that in my future.”

  “What about Vic?”

  Lauren gave her sister an oh, really look that hopefully dismissed that idea. Then she smiled as their aunt came into the room, bearing a tray with more cookies and a fresh pot of tea.

  “Are you talking about Vic Moore?” Aunt Laura asked.

  “Yes.”

  “No.”

  Jodie and Lauren spoke at the same time.

  “He’s a wonderful young man,” Aunt Laura said, ignoring Lauren’s comment. “And so handsome and kind and loyal.” She eased out a sigh. “I used to have the biggest crush on his father. He was just as good-looking. Just as nice.”

  “So why didn’t you go for him?” Jodie asked, unwilling to let go of the topic of the Moore family.

  “He had eyes only for Trudy, his wife.” Aunt Laura sighed. “But Vic is still single, I understand,” she said, looking over at Lauren. “He would make a fine husband.”

  “Nice try, Auntie,” Lauren said. “But I think I’ll pass. I need to focus on my business. That’s my future.” Last night she had called her partner, Amy, and listening to her enthusiasm for their new business had helped ground her back in reality.

  “Be careful,” Aunt Laura warned. “A business can be fulfilling, but I wouldn’t want you to miss out on love.”

  “Love is overrated,” Lauren said. But even as she dismissed her aunt’s comment, she wondered if Aunt Laura was talking about her own life and running her flower shop.

  “And how is your work with Maddie Cole going?” Aunt Laura asked Jodie, as Lauren poured them all more tea.

  Maddie was a professional singer Jodie had accompanied at a concert held before Lauren came to the ranch. Maddie had been so enthusiastic about a composition Jodie had written, they’d been working together since then.

  “We’re working on a new set of songs that she wants to record, but I’m having trouble with a transition in one of them. Lauren and I are going to Bozeman tomorrow, and I’ll stay a few more days after that to work with her. But I’d like to have it figured before I go. Maybe you could help me?”

  “Sure. Let’s go to the piano.”

  Jodie and Aunt Laura stood up, and Lauren grabbed a couple of cookies and followed them to the living room, dropping onto the couch. She munched on a cookie, happy to listen to her sister and aunt talk music.

  But in spite of her resolve, as she listened to Jodie and Aunt Laura trying out a new melody, a dull lonely ache clenched her heart.

  Her aunt had warned her not to miss out on love. So why did a picture of Vic shift into her mind? Too easily she remembered his gentle touch as he wiped the mud off her face. The crook of his smile that, somehow, didn’t make her feel embarrassed at all.

  She pushed the thoughts aside.

  Don’t go there. You have your plans. They’re enough, and no man is worth sacrificing them for.

  * * *

  The noise of the people gathering in the fellowship hall of the church washed over Vic as he walked through the open double doors. He would have preferred to go directly home after church, but he had driven his mother to the service this morning and she’d expressed a desire to stay and chat.

  Kids ran between adults, shrieking their pleasure as they played hide-and-seek or tag or whatever game they needed to burn off energy after sitting quiet for the past hour.

  A little boy zipped past him, catching his toe in the carpet. He would have fallen if Vic hadn’t caught him by the arm.

  “Hey, little guy, you might want to slow down.”

  The little boy, his hair sticking up in spikes, his plaid shirt open over a juice-stained T-shirt, flashed a gap-toothed grin at him, then ran off. A child on a mission.

  Vic chuckled as he walked over to the table where a huge urn sat, and poured himself some coffee. He glanced around the people milling about, laughing and talking, his eyes unconsciously searching the crowd for a certain tall blonde woman who had attended church today.

  According to Jodie, Lauren wasn’t the most faithful churchgoer, so when he saw her come in and sit down in the spot where her father used to sit, across from where his parents always sat, he couldn’t help a second look. He knew she and Jodie had been in Bozeman the past few days, so he was surprised to see her at all.

  Trouble was, he glanced over the same time she did. He knew he didn’t imagine the faint stir of connection between them. Or the fact that she didn’t look away right away, either.

  “So how is the haying going?”

  Vic glanced up from his coffee just as Lee Bannister joined
him.

  Tall, with dark hair and deep-set, intent brown eyes, a square jaw and a demeanor that commanded respect, Lee tended to stand out in a crowd. But Vic knew him to be a humble, caring man who had learned some hard life lessons.

  “Coming along. The usual dog and pony show. Breakdowns and rain. But we should be okay. I’m cutting again tomorrow.” Vic stirred his coffee and set the used spoon in a bowl. “But should be a good crop.”

  “You put up hay on the McCauley place, don’t you?” Lee asked as he poured some coffee for himself. “I heard you’ve been leasing it. How will that work now that Keith’s dead and the girls own the ranch? You able to make a deal with them?”

  “It’s all up in the air right now,” he admitted, taking a sip of his coffee, wishing he could get a break from his own spinning thoughts.

  “That’s got to make your plans complicated. I know you had figured on that place for Dean.”

  “I did.” Vic shrugged. “I guess I’ll just have to take the pastor’s words to heart.”

  This morning the pastor had preached on the need to trust and let go of the desire to control one’s own life. Vic knew, especially the past few weeks, that he struggled with precisely that. It was hard to let go when his own brother depended on him to help.

  “Don’t we all,” Lee said with a light sigh. “I know I’ve had to learn to let go of my own plans.”

  Vic nodded, acknowledging the wisdom he was sure Lee had gleaned from his time in prison for a crime he didn’t commit. Yet the man wasn’t bitter. In fact he seemed downright happy.

  Probably had something to do with the pretty redhead who joined them. Abby Bannister granted Vic a quick greeting then gently tugged on Lee’s arm.

  “Sorry to interrupt, but I just got a call,” she said. “That photo shoot I had planned for later this afternoon got bumped up and I have to leave right away.”

  “Of course. Let’s go.” Lee set his mug down and gave Vic a warm smile, clapping his hand on his shoulder. “I sure hope things turn out for you and Dean. He’s had a rough go.”