Ever Caring Page 5

  Tanner glanced at his wife, his smile relieved as he picked it up. “So, enough talking about what will happen to Olivia and Courtney when we die—let’s talk about life. I’m hungry. How about lunch at Mug Shots?”

  Sabine made a reluctant face. “I left Hailey babysitting. I don’t know if we should.”

  “You gave Hailey enough baby bottles to last Courtney for a week. She’ll be fine.” Tanner dropped his cowboy hat on his head and pushed his wooden chair back, then held out his hand for Sabine. “I guess our next step is to get a safe-deposit box like you suggested.”

  “Probably a better idea than shoving the will in a box under the bed,” Sabine said. She turned her smoky-gray eyes back to Tate, a dimple flashing as she gave him a quick smile. “On behalf of our two girls, I want to thank you for making this so painless.”

  “Wills are difficult to think about, but it’s important if you have dependents,” Tate said, getting to his feet, as well. “If you need anything more, just call me.”

  Tanner was about to leave, then turned. “I heard you have horses at Evangeline’s place,” he said. “If you and your daughter ever want to do some riding, we’ve got some great trails at the ranch.”

  Tate grinned, surprised again at the wonderful community that was Rockyview. “I think I’ll take you up on that. Addison and I haven’t had much chance to take the horses out, and I know they’re ready for some exercise.”

  “Just call,” Tanner said again. “We’ll set something up.” Then he turned to Sabine. “So, next stop Mug Shots?”

  She laughed, then took his hand as together they walked out of the office.

  Tate couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy at Tanner and Sabine’s easy relationship. From the moment they stepped into the office, it wasn’t hard to see how much they cared for each other. The way their eyes sought each other whenever Tate had a question. How Tanner’s hand rested on Sabine’s shoulder. The little smiles they exchanged.

  His parents had the same type of relationship, and he’d hoped for the same when he’d married Molly.

  The intercom on his phone buzzed, and he pushed the button. “Yes, Debbie, what’s up?”

  “Are you busy right now? Can you take a quick appointment before lunch?”

  Tate glanced at the calendar on his computer. He was free for the next half hour, but he had counted on getting more work done for a local client whose business he was hoping to get. The work would be the nice steady work that was the bread and butter of his previous firm.

  But a client was a client, so he said yes.

  “I’ll send her in,” Debbie said.

  Tate took his copy of Tanner and Sabine’s will and slipped it into one of the large side drawers of his desk. It would go into the vault this afternoon.

  However, the her Debbie referred to didn’t come in right away. He heard the muted murmur of Tanner’s and Sabine’s voices from the anteroom, then realized his next client and Tanner and Sabine probably knew each other.

  Small towns, he thought with a smile, remembering how the same thing would happen in Whitehorse.

  Finally the door opened, and when Tate saw who came in, his stomach dropped.

  Renee Albertson. Why was she here?

  He steeled himself, trying not to let his concern and frustration from yesterday rise to the surface. Too easily he remembered the disappointment on Addison’s face when Renee cut short their afternoon and then canceled their next visit. Obviously she couldn’t have been that busy today if she had time to see him now.

  Tate smoothed his tie as he stood, politely smiling as Renee entered his office, a hint of her flowery perfume preceding her. “Good afternoon, Ms. Albertson. What can I do for you today?” he said.

  In spite of his frustration, he still felt that momentary spark of attraction at the sight of her, which he tried to dismiss as simple loneliness. Renee seemed a complicated woman, and he didn’t need any more of that in his life.

  Renee twisted her hands together, shot a glance over her shoulder as Tate came around and closed the door behind her. He pulled out a chair for her to sit down, then he went behind his large wooden desk, putting some distance between them.

  Renee cleared her throat, then glanced past him at the picture he had on his bookshelf of Molly and Addison. Her eyes rested there, and he caught a surprising wistful look, then she shook her head, as if dismissing it from her mind.

  Then her eyes met and held his. He felt as if something momentous was coming.

  “Have you...have you heard anything more about the lien?” she asked.

  “No. I’m still waiting to hear back from Freddy about setting up a meeting to resolve the issue.” Why was she asking this in person? He told her the other day there hadn’t been any change. She could simply have called him.

  Renee’s slight nod acknowledged this comment. “So we wait.”

  “Yes.”

  Silence followed, broken only by the muffled tapping of computer keys coming from the outer office and the muted rumble of an engine as a train rolled through town.

  Tate looked at her, surprised at the attraction he still felt. As she glanced up at him, he had a sense the pull was mutual.

  “I’m sensing there’s something else you want to talk about,” Tate prompted, leaning back in his chair, trying to dismiss his reaction to her.

  “I know that yesterday I seemed a bit...off,” she said, her voice quiet. She drew in a slow breath, looking down at her fingers twisted around each other on her lap. “I also know that I wasn’t as kind to Addison...to Addison—” Her voice faltered and Renee stopped, as if trying to pull herself together.

  She seemed distressed. Then as he watched her struggle to speak, he felt a nudge of sympathy. Perhaps something had happened to Renee in the past? Something that Addison triggered?

  But he didn’t know what to say, so he waited.

  Finally she drew in a long, wavering breath, then looked up at him, moisture glimmering in her eyes. Was she crying?

  “When you adopted Addison, who handled the process?” she asked, her question as much of a surprise as her tears.

  “Um, actually, it was my father.”

  Renee’s face grew pale, and she fell back against her chair. “Did he tell you who the mother was?”

  “No. Only that she didn’t want to know anything about Addison. That it was a closed adoption. We were pleased about that because, even though we would have liked to know for Addison’s sake, we lived so far up north it would have been difficult to make regular visits.”

  Renee gave a curt nod, then lifted her chin. “Eight years ago I had a baby girl, born here in Rockyview. Your father handled my adoption, and the only thing I was told about the adoptive parents was that they lived in the Yukon.”

  Tate could only stare at her, ice slipping through his veins as her words slammed into his chest like physical blows. Eight years ago. Baby girl. Living in the Yukon.

  “Are you sure?” was all he could say as questions buzzed through his head, unreal and uncertain.

  Renee swiped her fingers across her cheek, leaving a trail of moisture. “What day did you take Addison home from the hospital?”

  Tate stared at her, confusion and agitation stealing his voice.

  When he’d moved to Rockyview, he’d had a vague notion he might meet Addison’s mother, but he had also assumed, because of her desire for a closed adoption, he would never know who she was. Never meet her.

  Now she sat across his desk from him. A woman whose life was moving on a path that would take her away from Rockyview.

  “What day did you give birth?” he countered.

  Renee released a slightly cynical laugh. “I should have known you would prefer to ask the questions. Lawyers don’t like to answer them.”

  Tate suppressed another retort, realizing that his nervousness was making him defensive. So he took a slow breath, then sent up a quick prayer for wisdom and help.

  “We picked Addison up from the hospital the a
fternoon of September seven,” he said. “A beautiful sunny day. She was born that morning.” His mind slipped back again to that pivotal moment when the nurse had handed them Addison. How he’d felt as if everything in his life had come to such a good place. After the heartbreak of the miscarriages, neither he nor Molly had thought they would ever see this day. A tiny, helpless infant, barely a few hours old, who belonged to them. An infant who would only know them as her parents.

  Renee’s eyes slid shut and tears slipped down her cheeks as she pressed trembling lips together. “I gave birth the morning of September seven. I left the hospital the next morning. Your father helped facilitate the adoption.”

  He could only blink as her words echoed in the stark silence of the office.

  Gave birth September seven...his father handled the adoption.

  He could only stare at her, her words settling into his brain.

  The woman sitting across from him was Addison’s biological mother.

  How many evenings had he leaned over Addison’s crib, simply staring at her, letting her fingers curl around his, wondering how someone could have let this precious child go? Sometimes he’d get angry about it. Other times he’d try to understand why. But always, behind all those emotions, he’d felt humble gratitude that Addison’s mother had let her go so that he and Molly could take care of her. Could be blessed by her presence in their lives.

  “Did you know anything about us?” he asked. “The records were sealed, but still...” This was Rockyview, and secrets were only kept until they could be shared with someone who didn’t know.

  Renee sucked in a shuddering breath. “The only thing I knew was something your father let slip. That my little girl, your daughter,” she corrected suddenly, “was living in the Yukon Territory. I’d had a bad day. I was struggling with the repercussions of my decision. I knew I had no right...but I came to the office, upset and worried, yearning to know where my baby was. That was all he would tell me. That and the fact that the family was a loving, caring one. I was frustrated but at the same time, I had to accept that nothing could or should change. Knowing she was being taken care of and loved had to be enough for me.”

  “Molly and I were living in the Yukon when we adopted Addison. I had just gotten a job with a lawyer who was looking for someone to help him out.”

  Renee nodded, as if absorbing this information. Then, to his dismay, she drew in a shuddering breath.

  “I’m sorry,” she said, her voice choked as she bent over, picked up her purse and pulled some tissues out of it. She lowered her head, wiping her eyes. Then she looked up at Tate with red-rimmed eyes that tore at his heart. “When did you move to Toronto?”

  “About two years after Addison was born.” Six months after he found out Molly had cheated the first time. He pushed aside that memory. No sense dwelling on the shame and hurt. “After Molly died, I waited awhile, then came here so I could spend more time with Addison. Working for a prestigious law firm is not conducive to family life.” He was telling her too much.

  She had chosen to stay out of Addison’s life. He had to respect that both for her sake and for Addison’s.

  Renee dabbed at her eyes. She looked up at him, and again he felt a connection with her. Had he known, on some subconscious level, that this woman was his daughter’s mother?

  Or was something else happening?

  “So why did you come to see me?” His frustration with his unexpected and unwelcome feelings for her spilled over and he regretted his harsh tone. He unclenched his fists, lowering his shoulders, trying to pull in some calm. “What do you want from me? Are you going to ask for some rights as Addison’s mother?”

  He didn’t relish the idea that now, at this emotionally fragile moment in his daughter’s life, her birth mother would make demands.

  Renee sniffed again, then waved her hands in an erasing motion. “I don’t want anything. Addison is your daughter and I would never confuse her like that,” she said. “I don’t have any right—” She stopped there, pressing her hand against her mouth.

  Relief loosened the tension in Tate’s shoulders at Renee’s dismissal of his concerns and he sighed. “Okay. I’m sorry I was so short with you. I was worried. Addison has had a lot to deal with in the past year.”

  Renee looked up, an intensity burning in her eyes even as tears gathered. “I would never do anything to hurt her or jeopardize what you have with her. She’s your daughter. You are her parent.” In spite of her bravado, her voice broke on the last word, and Tate felt, again, a flash of sympathy for her and the predicament she had found herself in.

  But mingled with that was a respect for her integrity.

  “I appreciate that.”

  Renee bent her head and wiped her eyes again. “Sorry about this. It’s just...”

  “Emotional. I understand, and I’m sorry to have put you through this.”

  He caught the edges of her smile through the curtain of hair obscuring her face. “You had no way of knowing this would happen. None of this is your fault. You have nothing to apologize for.” Then she lifted her head. “I know what my life is like right now. I have my mother and her needs to think about. You know that I’m moving away after I sell the store. So obviously, I’m not going to disrupt Addison’s life in any way. She’s not to know who I am. For her sake, more than anything.”

  His respect for Renee grew with each word she spoke. He wondered if Molly would have been half as considerate. “That’s kind and giving of you,” he said quietly.

  She said nothing for a time, letting the silence ease away the emotions of the moment. Then she cleared her throat and crumpled the damp tissue in her hand.

  Tate hesitated to ask an obvious question, but knew he had to. “And Addison’s father?”

  Renee released a cynical laugh. “He’s so out of the picture he’s not even in the album. He signed away all rights to her. Last I heard, he’s married and living in Australia. Dwight was not the type to take responsibility. For anything.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  Renee shrugged. “Don’t be. He wasn’t worth any of the tears I shed over him.” Then she pressed her lips together as if she had said too much.

  “So now I want to get to the reason I came to see you. Now that we both know this,” she continued, “what are we going to do about Addison’s scrapbook? I’m not sure I should continue to keep working with her. I don’t know if I can...”

  Tate knew she was right, but after the minor fiasco yesterday, all Addison talked about was Renee this and Renee that.

  And he felt a kinship with his daughter in that respect. In spite of his best efforts, all he thought about was Renee, as well.

  Tate tapped a pen on his desk, trying to see the wisdom in what Renee was saying. “She has her heart set on finishing it. Who could help her?”

  “I’d offer my mother’s services, but I don’t think that would be a good idea, either. My mother is in an emotionally fragile place. One of these days I’m going to have to tell her about Addison, and I’m concerned about her forming an attachment to your daughter right now at this huge turning point in her life. My mother needs to stay centered on what’s ahead for her.”

  “I understand that you hope to enroll her in an experimental program.”

  “Yes. It’s very, very promising but it’s...it’s costly. And I want my mother to stay focused on that and not be distracted.” She bit her lip, worrying the tissues in her hand. “I know it sounds cruel to keep Addison’s presence out of her life but right now...right now it will be too difficult for everyone. Not only for my mother but for Addison.” She shot him a wry look. “Because in order to tell Addison that my mother is her grandmother, it means telling her I’m her mother.”

  Once again, Tate was impressed with Renee’s selflessness. Last night his father had told him about Renee’s dedication to finding a cure for Brenda’s injury. How she had been willing to give up the store that had been her dream to see that come through. All that made
her even more appealing to him.

  A conundrum to be sure.

  “Let me tell you how much I respect you for your consideration. I’m sure this isn’t what you envisioned when you gave Addison up.”

  She pulled in a quick breath, glancing up at him, a yearning look on her face that hooked his heart.

  “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, but has she ever asked about...me...about her biological mother?”

  Tate held her troubled gaze, puzzling what to tell her.

  “She’s been curious, of course, but I have tried to emphasize the fact that we chose her. That we wanted her. She knows she didn’t come from the stork—” he released a light laugh, trying to ease away the sudden tension in the room. “She has wondered, for sure. I expect that will come out more in time.”

  Renee nodded, her mouth curving in a gentle smile. “I’m sure she’ll be curious.” She paused and Tate wondered where she was headed next. He said nothing. Waiting to see where she would go.

  Renee cleared her throat. “For now, we have the scrapbook to deal with. One option would be for me to put together a kit for her with some instructions. That way she could finish it on her own. With your help.”

  Tate leaned back in his chair, his arms folded across his chest, biting his lip, trying to find the best way to respond to this. “That could work. However, she seems to have formed a deep connection with you. She’s not going to like—”

  The door of his office suddenly burst open, and Addison bounded inside, her backpack swinging from one hand.

  All color drained from Renee’s face, and she clutched the arms of the chair with a white-knuckled grip. Then she drew in a breath and forced a smile to her face.

  And Tate realized how hard it must have been for Renee to see his daughter initially. She hadn’t known who Addison was the first time they met in the store, but maybe, on some biological level, she felt a kinship. A connection.

  Now her actions made far more sense, and he felt a pang of sympathy for her.

  “Hey, Renee. What are you doing here?” Addison asked, tossing her backpack on the table in the corner and coming to stand beside her, her eyes glowing with pleasure.