Homecoming (Sweet Hearts of Sweet Creek Book 1) Read online

  “You look softer, warmer, more approachable,” he returned, refuting her deprecating remarks. “And you look great sitting on the back of a horse,” he finished with a smile.

  “Well, I guess the horse can take some credit for that.”

  “I said you look great, not the horse.”

  She only nodded.

  “How are you feeling this morning?” he said his expression suddenly serious.

  “I woke up with a headache.”

  Mark drew his horse closer, taking her hand in his, squeezing. “I was praying for you last night.”

  “What for?” Sheryl replied, trying to cover the jolt his words gave her. Not now, she thought, please don’t talk about that now.

  Mark winked at her, threading his callused fingers through hers. “That you would sleep well.”

  Sheryl knew she should take her hand out of his, but she couldn’t break the connection. She enjoyed the feel of his large work-roughened fingers, as an undefinable peace flowed over her. She knew it couldn’t last and was determined not to let the future intrude on this time out of time.

  Mark looked ahead, his hand swinging Sheryl’s, his hat pushed back on his head, eyes narrowed against the bright morning sun. Small wrinkles fanned out from the corners of his eyes, light lines in his tanned face, and a smile lifted one corner of his mouth. He moved easily with his horse, unconsciously attuned to its movements.

  His jacket hung open, the ever-present mountain breeze ruffling his hair. Above him was the hard blue sky, behind him the rugged mountains.

  The rightness of the scene gave Sheryl a stab of pleasure, almost painful in its intensity. As if he sensed her regard, he turned, his dark eyebrows frowning a moment, questioning.

  “What’s wrong?”

  Sheryl shook her head, smiling as she squeezed his hand. “Nothing at all,” she returned, losing herself in eyes as gray as a soft summer rain.

  They reached Mark’s camp by lunchtime. Everyone dismounted, and pulled out the sandwiches and ate them standing, sitting or lounging against the wall of the cabin. Sheryl sat with Crystal and Marla, content to watch and listen. The girls found a ready ear for their excited jabber about their horses and near encounters with death on the trip up.

  All too soon it was time to return to the main camp. A few moans and groans accompanied the mounting up. Brad, Allen and their wives said their goodbyes to Mark. It would be a while until they saw him again. Elise gave him a quick peck on the cheek, and he gave the girls a hug.

  Sheryl helped Crystal and Marla into the saddles. Elise was already on her horse, and at a signal from her, they rode off, leaving Mark and Sheryl alone.

  Sheryl toyed with the reins of her horse, unsure of what to say. How do you say goodbye to the first man you met that you felt at one with? How do you tell him that you can never be together?

  Then his hand lifted up her chin, and she looked once again into soft gray eyes.

  “I’m glad you came along, Sheryl,” he said, his voice rough with unexpected emotion. He smiled carefully at her, his fingers caressing her cheek. “If it wasn’t so terribly improper, I’d ask you to stay with me out here and ride with me, help me gather the cows.”

  Sheryl managed a shaky grin at his words, trying to grasp some kind of equilibrium in her own emotions, now so tender and vulnerable.

  “Thanks for letting me come. It was good to be out here again.” She bit her lip as she felt a sob rise in her chest, remembering last night, not wanting to think what lay ahead. She blinked carefully, but a tear coursed down her cheek.

  “Oh, Sheryl,” Mark sighed, drawing her suddenly against him in a fierce hug. “I’d say don’t cry but you have so much sadness that has to come out.”

  To her dismay fresh tears flowed at his words, and Sheryl fought to regain control. She couldn’t start crying now. She had to get on her horse and ride down to their camp and then down into the valley and then...

  She straightened, palming her cheeks and wiping the moisture off on her pant legs. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, “I don’t know what’s happening to me. I never used to be so weepy.”

  “You never had the chance,” Mark said softly, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a red polka-dotted hanky. Carefully, he lifted her chin with his fingers and dried the rest of her tears. He took his time, his gentleness almost setting her off again. When he was done, he folded the hanky in her hands.

  “So, what happens now, Sheryl?” he asked.

  Sheryl looked away, wrapping his handkerchief around her hands, clenching them tightly. “I still have an apartment in Edmonton. I’m enrolled in classes this fall, and I’ll need to go job hunting.”

  “I feel like I owe you for the one you lost.” He shifted his weight, tugging on his ear. “And what about Nate and Ed?”

  “I’ll visit Ed just before I leave. As for Nate…” she lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “Nothing much has changed. I don’t imagine it will between now and when I leave.”

  “And forgiveness?” His words were soft, but they cut.

  “I don’t know if I can do that, Mark.”

  “Not on your own, of course.”

  Sheryl bit her lip. “I don’t think I have to forgive them. They have to live with what they’ve done, just as I have to live with the consequences of my own decisions.”

  “But you can’t build a relationship until forgiveness has been granted,” he urged, touching her cheek with one finger.

  Sheryl looked up at him, shaking her head regretfully. “I don’t know if I want a relationship.”

  “You have all that you need,” he finished for her.

  Sheryl avoided the steady deepness of his gaze and said nothing.

  “And now you have to leave?”

  “Yes.”

  Mark sighed, shoving his hat back on his head. “Can you wait until I’m done up here?” he asked, then hurried on before she could reply. “I know I’m asking a lot of you, but can you stay at Nate and Elise’s until I get back? I’ll be finished here in a couple of days. It will only be four more days, tops. Could you wait that much longer?”

  Sheryl’s heart flipped over, stopped and then began to race. She couldn’t think about what he asked, didn’t dare let her thoughts venture further.

  Mark caught her by the arms, as if sensing her withdrawal. “I’m not asking you to stay forever, at least not yet. But something’s happening here and I don’t know exactly where it’s going.” His voice became pleading. “Sheryl, you can’t just go back without having settled what you know is building between us. Stay and let’s give it a chance.” Sheryl closed her eyes, fighting the temptation to drift against him, to let him kiss her like she knew he wanted to.

  “Please, Sheryl. Stop fighting, stop trying to be so independent.”

  “I don’t know, Mark. I get confused by you.” She looked up at him, pleading. “You want things from me, things I’m not ready to give.”

  “Give-and-take is all part of normal interaction.”

  “But that doesn’t come easily for me.” She almost cried the words out. “Do you think this trip has been easy? Do you think it’s easy for me to jump from a life with Jason, Nate and Ed, into a trip like this with a family like yours?”

  “What’s wrong with my family?”

  “Don’t get all defensive.” She pulled away, reaching out to settle her horse, jumpy from the rising sound of their voices. “Your family is perfect. Too perfect,” she added softly.

  “No, we’re not. We fight and bicker and get angry with each other. I have just as hard a time getting along with Nate as I’m sure you used to.”

  Sheryl frowned up at him, surprised to hear that.

  “But we keep on going because he’s family and he’s been placed in my life for a reason,” he continued.

  “And what about the things that happened to me? I still haven’t found the reason I lost my father, my mother.” Sheryl halted. “Everyone who I ever loved.”

  So many of her barriers ha
d already been broken down by this darkly handsome man. So much she’d held so tightly had been pried open, leaving her vulnerable and scared. He talked easily of forgiving things that happened in the past, but it wasn’t that easy.

  She turned away from him, jumped on her horse and rode away.

  Sheryl slipped her jacket on and shook out the wrinkles of her skirt. She flipped her backpack over her shoulder, hefted her suitcase off the bed and took a last, lingering look around the cabin. Was it only ten days ago she had come here?

  It seemed like weeks.

  Nate waited in the driveway, she could hear the low thrum of the engine of their minivan. She wished Elise could have taken her to Sweet Creek. So many unresolved feelings hung between her and Nate. Their relationship was still wary, watching and unforgiving. It was easy for Mark to talk of forgiveness, but surely something had to come from Nate?

  With a sigh Sheryl left, closing the door softly behind her. Moisture drizzled down through the trees, and Sheryl picked her way carefully through the puddles, heedless of the water that misted her hair.

  She came around the corner of the cabin, and Marla and Crystal jumped off their perch on the verandah rail and came to her at a dead run, calling her name.

  Dropping her suitcase, Sheryl bent over to catch them against her.

  “Why do you have to go, Auntie Sheryl, why don’t you stay with us?” Crystal cried, clinging to her waist.

  Marla said nothing, only hung on to Sheryl her face pressed against her side.

  Sheryl stroked their heads as a bleakness settled inside her. How much she wanted to stay, how much she needed to leave.

  “I’m sorry sweethearts, but I have to go back to my own home. That’s in Edmonton.” And maybe there, she thought, away from the memories, she’d have the space to seek God.

  “But you can have a new home here?” Crystal cried out, giving Sheryl a shake. “Uncle Mark wants you to stay, I know he does.”

  Funny that those innocent words could create anew the aching hunger that had gnawed at her yesterday with each fall of the horse’s hooves, taking her farther and farther away from Mark.

  “It’s okay, Crystal. I might come back again,” she promised quickly.

  “When?” Marla’s head shot up, her eyes expectant.

  Sheryl bit her lip and shrugged lightly. “I don’t know. I have to get a job and save up some more money.” The explanation sounded lame in Sheryl’s ears, but Marla seemed to accept it.

  “You could work here,” Marla offered.

  Sheryl only smiled and stroked Marla’s head, a rush of love flowing through her.

  The door slapped against the frame, and Elise stepped onto the verandah, holding Benjamin. Sheryl released the girls and walked across the verandah toward them.

  “So, you’re going, then?” Elise said quietly, her eyes sorrowful.

  Sheryl didn’t trust her voice and only nodded. She held out her hands for Benjamin who leaned toward her, the drool on his chin rolling down the soft fuzz of his blue sleeper, his bright eyes wide. She wrapped her arms around his soft warmth, holding him close, inhaling the sweet baby smell of him. She swallowed down a lump of pain, not wanting to cry again, not with a long trip beside Nate ahead of her.

  Benjamin placed his chubby hands against her shoulders, pushing back, his blue eyes focused on her as if memorizing her. He gurgled and grabbed the braid that hung over one shoulder.

  “You are such a sweetheart,” she murmured, pressing a kiss on his warm cheek. Giving him another quick hug, she returned him to Elise’s arms.

  “Run upstairs, Crystal, and get that package on the bed,” Elise said over her shoulder. She looked back at Sheryl with a sad smile, then hooked an arm around Sheryl’s neck, drawing her close. “I sure hope we can see you again,” Elise murmured against her hair.

  Sheryl returned Elise’s hug, Benjamin hanging awkwardly between them, her backpack slipping down her arm. When she straightened she was surprised to see tears in Elise’s eyes.

  “Please don’t start,” she said, her voice breaking.

  “Oh, Sheryl. I had so hoped you could stay.”

  Sheryl shook her head. “I don’t belong here, Elise. There’s too much history...” And pain, she added silently.

  “I guess we’ve just asked too much of you, me and Mark,” Elise replied softly, blinking back her tears. “But you have to keep in touch. Promise me you will?”

  “Maybe,” Sheryl said vaguely, avoiding the steady deepness of her eyes, too much like Mark’s for comfort.

  The screen door flew open. Crystal and Marla tumbling through the opening. “Here, this is for you, Auntie Sheryl.” Crystal ran up to Sheryl, breathless, handing her a small, wrapped parcel.

  “It’s just a little something for the trip.” Elise shrugged, pulling Benjamin close. “I hope you enjoy it.”

  “You have to open it on the bus,” Marla piped up.

  “Thank you, very much,” she replied softly, touching the springy curls of ribbon.

  The blare of a horn broke the moment. She reached out and gave Elise another quick hug and, pressing a kiss on each of the girls’ heads, she rearranged her backpack on her shoulder and picked up her suitcase. With a quick wave to the assembled group she ran down the steps of the verandah, through the drizzle to the waiting van.

  She threw her knapsack and suitcase in the back seat, got in, and before the door closed behind her, Nate took off. She turned to look back. Elise’s and the children’s figures were indistinct blurs through the water than ran down the windows, but she waved anyhow.

  The van topped the rise, turned the corner onto the road, and the ranch was hidden from view.

  Chapter 12

  Sheryl turned around, buckling up her seat belt, fussing with it, straightening her coat, trying to avoid Nate’s gaze. The atmosphere in the van was heavy, weighted with memories and recriminations that neither had dared voice over the past week.

  Finally she settled into the seat and stared resolutely at the windshield wipers slapping back and forth across the window, watching familiar landmarks slip by, now blurred with the haze of rain.

  The silence bothered her. She and Nate had spent many years together, and now they couldn’t even share more than a few mumbled questions and answers. It wasn’t right. Especially after spending three days with the Andrews family and their constant chatter, the silence in the van felt unnatural.

  “I’d like to thank you for letting me stay in the cabin, Nate,” she said finally.

  Nate only nodded in reply.

  She bit her lip and tried again. “Did you visit Ed while we were gone?”

  At that Nate turned to her, his mouth curled up in derision. “Spare me the false concern, Sheryl.”

  His comment, all too familiar, wouldn’t have hurt a week ago. She had grown soft in the past few days. “It wasn’t false concern,” she said as her fingers tightened around the buckle.

  “You were here ten days,” he replied looking ahead again, his jaw clenched. “You managed to see him three times.”

  “You want it both ways, don’t you, Nate.” She drew in a deep breath. “You’ve accused me of not finishing a job, and because I did, I couldn’t see Ed as often as I might have.”

  Nate bit his lip and changed tack. “Why did you go on the pack trip?”

  “I was invited.”

  “The girls seemed to enjoy the trip. Although they said you didn’t spend much time with them.” He glanced at her, his eyes slightly narrowed. “They said you had someone else you wanted to be with.”

  “As in?” As if she didn’t know.

  “Mark.”

  “Well I guess now we’re getting down to what you really wanted to talk about.”

  He turned on her, his face angry. “He’s my friend, brother-in-law and partner and that makes his concerns mine.”

  “I think Mark can take care of himself.”

  “Mark is a different man from the kind of man you’re used to...”

 
“How do you know what I’m used to? I’ve only ever had one boyfriend.” She smiled derisively, “And one husband.”

  “The worst man in the county.”

  Sheryl said nothing to that.

  “Mark is a good man, Sheryl,” Nate continued, his tone condescending. “A good person.”

  “Something I’ve never been, right?”

  “And I’ve found out that marriage is difficult enough,” he interrupted.

  “He hasn’t proposed to me, Nate.”

  “Mark’s a romantic,” Nate continued, a white line edging his lips. “I know he’s fascinated with you.” He spared her a brief glance. “You’re an attractive girl. I know where he’s headed with you, even if you don’t seem to care.” Mark’s words drifted over the anger that slipped so easily into her mind at Nate’s words.

  “Anger drains you, Sheryl, it eats away at you until nothing is left.”

  She didn’t want to hear them. Didn’t want to let go of her anger, because then what would she have left? Only sadness and an emptiness that yawned ahead of her, bleak and unwelcoming.

  But Nate wasn’t finished. “When Mark bought the ranch he made plans to live on it with someone else-“

  “Tanya.” Sheryl spoke with quiet determination.

  “So you know the story.”

  She nodded, her hands clenched together.

  “Then you know what he is going through right now. You know how hard it must be for him to have met someone who seems to have the same interests as he does.”

  Sheryl turned on him at that. “What do you mean when you say seems?”

  Nate plunged a hand through his hair with a quick sigh. “You helped him with the haying, you went on the pack trip. Mark thinks you enjoy that kind of work.”

  Sheryl shook her head in dismay.

  “He asked me to wait for him, Nate,” she said softly, wanting to prick his self-righteous hauteur. “Just before we rode away, he said that something was happening between us and that he wanted time to figure out what it really was.”

  Nate turned suddenly at that, eyes wide. “And what was your answer?”

  “I’m in your van, heading out to Sweet Creek,” she replied, her voice tight. “I don’t know why you see it necessary to point out how unsuitable I am for him. But somehow, by showing me that he cares for me and by giving me what you and Ed never would, Mark has shown me, more clearly than you and Ed ever could, that I don’t deserve him.” She looked down, rubbing her hands over her skirt, forcing herself to relax. She wished she could appeal to their past, to the part of him that might remember rides up to a slide, finding a frying pan.