The Cowboy's Family (Family Ties Book 2) Page 14

  After a few minutes, however, Kane cleared his throat and Tricia knew they weren’t done. “While we're having a heart-to-heart,” he said, “how has it been, working with Mason?”

  Tricia didn’t answer right away, sensing his question was the first of many.

  “Like I told you, he knows his stuff. I’m learning lots.”

  Kane sighed. “Look, I may as well get to the point. I see how he looks at you, and I have to confess, I’m a little worried.”

  “Still trying to be the big brother,” Tricia said with a nervous laugh.

  “I guess that won’t ever change.”

  Tricia wasn’t sure what to say. How to react. “Are you worried about him, or me?”

  “Both.”

  She needed to gather her thoughts and find the right way to answer him. Truth was, her feelings where Mason was concerned were troublesome for herself as well. But she was a grown woman, and despite the mistakes she had made in the past, she would like to think she had learned from them. Would like to think she could still make good choices.

  “I’m careful. I know what my responsibilities are,” she said.

  “And…” he prompted.

  “And that’s all I’m saying about that,” she said, giving him a tight smile. "Thanks for your concern. I’m beyond thankful for your encouragement to stay on the ranch, and I’d like you to see that I’ve learned from my mistakes.”

  Kane held her gaze and seemed to acknowledge the challenge in them with a curt nod. “Point taken.”

  “Thanks.”

  And that was all it seemed she needed to say.

  But despite her bold statement to her brother, she knew her declaration was as much for herself as him. A reminder of what she needed to do and the care she needed to take with her children.

  And with Mason.

  Chapter 11

  “Hold still,” Tricia said to Hope as she tried to twist her daughter’s hair into a ponytail. “If you wiggle too much, I’ll pull your hair.”

  Hope turned her head obediently, and despite her daughter being strapped in the car seat, Tricia finished the ponytail.

  Cash sat in his car seat on the other side of her, looking out the window, kicking his feet. He was humming a tuneless song, clearly content with life.

  Tricia sat back, her hands folded on her lap, looking past Kane and Faith in the front seat, watching the road twist and turn as they drove to town.

  It was Sunday morning, and they were on their way to church.

  Country music played softly from the radio. Kane and Faith were chatting, talking about their wedding, the hay, and Faith’s upcoming teaching position. Slow meandering conversation that touched on all the changes in both their lives.

  Jealousy threaded through Tricia’s thoughts. Faith was embarking on the life she had always dreamed of. Living on the ranch, a good job, her and Kane’s lives woven into the routine of the seasons.

  Her eyes caught Kane’s in the rearview mirror and he gave her a gentle smile. She returned it, thankful for the connection. The renewal of the old relationship.

  “How are you doing?” Faith asked, glancing back at her. “I feel like we haven’t seen much of each other.”

  “I feel like my coming kicked you off the ranch,” Tricia said.

  “You didn’t, you silly girl.” Faith laughed. “I just thought it would look better if I’m not living in the same house Kane is while we’re engaged.”

  “You’ve got lots of chaperones,” Tricia joked.

  “I know. I just feel better living in town. Besides, it gives me a chance to see my grandfather more.”

  “That’s true.” Tricia gave her friend a smile. “But in answer to your question, “I’m doing well.”

  “You sure are smiling a lot more lately.”

  Tricia fought the blush that crept up her neck as her thoughts flitted to Mason and the kiss he had brushed over her forehead. The other kiss they had shared up in the mountains.

  “I’m feeling better, and the kids seem to be settling down. And I’m looking forward to going to church.”

  “I don’t imagine you’ll be coming to Bible study any time soon now that you’re working with the horses,” Faith said.

  “I want to spend as much time as I can with them.”

  “And with Mason?” Faith teased.

  Tricia lost her battle with the blush, and now her cheeks were burning. She kept her eyes averted, unwilling to see if Kane had noticed. Especially after his not-so-veiled warning last night.

  “I’m learning lots from him,” Tricia said, realizing how prim she sounded.

  Faith winked at her then turned back to Kane, returning to their own conversation.

  This morning Mason hadn’t joined them for breakfast, and Tricia felt a mixture of relief and disappointment at his absence.

  She folded her hands together, pulling in a long, deep breath.

  Please, Lord, help me keep my heart whole. I’ve made too many mistakes, and I can’t afford to make any more.

  As a prayer drifted through her mind, she felt a small measure of peace.

  She had to trust that God would help her make the right decisions. That he would help her keep her focus on her children.

  Fifteen minutes later, they were pulling into the church parking lot. Tricia felt her heart lift as she heard music coming out of the sanctuary.

  “I’m guessing you’re not playing with the band today?” she asked Faith as she unbuckled Cash.

  “No, Owen had a couple of friends who wanted to lead worship today. I was glad to give up the day. Sometimes it’s nice just to sit in the congregation and sing along.”

  Faith played regularly with the worship group that led the service, adding her beautiful voice and excellent guitar playing to the band. And now, come September, she would share her gift with her students as a music teacher in the school.

  “I don’t think they’ll be as good as you,” Kane said loyally, setting Cash on the ground.

  “Oh you flatterer,” Faith said, nudging him with her elbow, batting her eyelashes at him.

  Kane just grinned, and for a small moment, Tricia was jealous of their interaction. Their ease with each other.

  It helped that their father approved of the relationship, which made Tricia wonder what he would think of her and Mason.

  She cut off her thoughts as she pulled a bag out of the truck that held sippy cups and a few snacks for the twins. She slung it over her shoulder and held her hand out for her daughter.

  Hope shook her head and reached out to Faith, but her friend crossed her arms and shook her head. “No, honey. You go to Mommy.”

  A look of rebellion crossed Hope’s face at that, but then just as quickly she gave in and reached for Tricia’s hand. Tricia shot her friend a look of thanks, and then, clutching her daughter’s hand, she walked across the parking lot to the church.

  Kane, still carrying Cash, walked with Tricia and Hope down the hall to where the nursery for toddlers was. The twins stepped inside the room without a backward glance. Tricia handed the children’s bag over to the attendant with a few quick instructions, then she and Kane were walking back to the sanctuary.

  Kane put his hand on her arm before they got to the lobby.

  “I hope you think about what we discussed last night. I know I haven’t been the most caring brother since you’ve come back. I want a chance for us to be brother and sister again.”

  Tricia was surprised to feel a prickle of tears in her eyes. “That would be nice,” she said. She reached out to touch his arm. To create a connection.

  He patted her on the shoulder, and Tricia's smile grew. For Kane that was the equivalent of an exuberant hug. At least between them.

  With a light heart and a smile on her lips, she walked into the sanctuary eager to partake of the worship service.

  And almost ran into Mason.

  Her steps faltered, and she stopped.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked, a challenging note in
her voice.

  Mason frowned, his gaze flicking from her to Kane.

  “Going to church?” He released a hesitant laugh. “I hope that’s okay.”

  “Of course it is,” Kane said. “Glad you could come.”

  Then her brother walked away to join Faith, who stood with a group of women, laughing and chatting.

  Mason and Tricia were alone, and while she knew she should leave, she couldn’t tear her eyes away from him.

  Danger, danger.

  “I hope you enjoy the service.” She gave him a quick smile then strode away from him before anything else could happen.

  She ended up sitting with Kane, Faith, and her father, and while she forced herself to keep her attention on the singing and the service, part of her wondered where Mason sat. And what he thought.

  The minister came to the front of the church and welcomed everybody there.

  As he spoke, Tricia latched onto him, listening to every word, looking for peace, absolution, and the grace she knew God granted so freely.

  It was a grace she clung to tenaciously, ever since she had come back from the hospital. Her thoughts flicked to Perry, followed by another rush of fear.

  “God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble,” the pastor was saying as he read from the Bible. “Therefore we will not fear…”

  As she listened to the words, she felt the comfort from the passage, a reminder that God was her strength.

  But right behind that came the thought of how Mason had come to her rescue. How safe she felt when she saw him deal with Perry. Had God placed Mason in her life?

  But he won't always be there. You have to be able to take care of your children yourself.

  Consequences. Her parents had always lectured her about learning to live with the consequences of her actions.

  Please, Lord, don’t make my children have to live with the consequences of my actions and choices.

  She took a slow breath and forced her attention back to the minister. She let his words wash over her, drawing them in, letting them flow like water over parched soil. Coming back to church, attending Bible study, had filled an emptiness in her soul and heart that she had been trying to fill with so many other things.

  She was so thankful for the support she received here.

  And now, Kane was suggesting she stay.

  Should she? Would she be losing her independence?

  Let it go, let it go, she told herself. One step at a time.

  She let the complications of her life slip into the background. For now she was here in church, taking the rest that was promised to her for this day. A peace given to her by her Lord.

  By the time the church service was over she felt calmer. More focused.

  Then she turned to leave and saw Mason standing right behind her.

  Their eyes locked and held as Tricia’s breath caught in her chest. She shook off her reaction and walked into the aisle.

  “Do you want help with the kids?” he asked, his deep voice making her heart dance.

  Oh Lord, this isn’t going like it should.

  She had been praying for peace. Thought she had found a focus. But no sooner did she hear Mason’s voice than her heart and emotions were all over the place again.

  “Thanks so much, but I think I’ll be okay,” she said, giving him a cautious smile and wavering between wishing she could be more firm, and yet, knowing they would be working together for a while longer.

  “I understand,” he said, and as he returned her smile, as their eyes held, she realized that he probably did.

  The rest of the day the children were content to play in the yard. Mason was gone again and, as she did last week, Tricia wondered where he went. Did he know people around here?

  Supper was a quiet affair. Soup and buns. Zach complimented her on the soup and the kids even ate well.

  That evening the kids were in bed early. Faith and Kane were gone, and so it was just her and her father.

  “Television isn’t working,” he complained when Tricia came back into the family room and picked up the remote to turn it on.

  “You sure?” Tricia frowned, pressing the button a couple of times.

  But she got no signal either.

  “Doubt we’ll get anyone to come out on a Sunday night to fix it,” her dad said, leaning over to a stack of books beside his chair. “Guess I’ll be catching up on my reading.”

  He picked up a book and, with a grunt, leaned back in his recliner.

  Tricia dropped the remote and looked around the room for something to occupy herself. She had never been one to do crafts. Her mother used to knit, but Tricia never had the patience for it. She preferred listening to music and reading gossip magazines and, later, when the Internet arrived at Tall Timber Ranch, checking out websites on her phone.

  She meandered over to the tall bookshelf that filled one wall. The books were a variety of the murder mysteries that Kane liked, the legal thrillers Lucas preferred, books on ranching and cattle varieties and best haying practices, and books about the history of Western Canada.

  The books her mother liked to read took up two shelves. Tricia ran her finger over the spines, remembering Grace Tye sitting in her own recliner beside her father, her reading glasses perched on the end of her nose. Her hair cut short in a sensible bob that made it easier to care for as she fed the family, helped on the ranch, did the bookkeeping, and managed a household of three rowdy boys and one pampered daughter.

  “Finding anything?” her father asked.

  “I remember Mom loved this one,” Tricia said, pulling a copy of The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe off the shelf. “She read the whole series out loud to us.”

  “I loved those stories,” her father said with a melancholy smile. “I loved listening to her read them as well.”

  Tricia walked over to the couch, curled up in one corner, and opened the book.

  She didn’t know what she expected. A miracle? The letters to suddenly arrange themselves into a pattern she could recognize? The usual tension whenever she tried to read pinched her neck, increased her heart rate. Reading to the kids was easy. The pictures clued her in to what was going on. The stories were known to her.

  She made herself slow down, taking the time to work through the familiar story. Catch the rhythm of the words she had heard more than once.

  She hadn’t realized she’d groaned out loud until her father spoke up.

  “Still a struggle, isn’t it?”

  The usual shame flooded her and, once again, she fought it down. She wasn’t dumb. She wasn’t stupid. She was dyslexic.

  “Yeah, but it’s a good story.”

  “I always admired your tenacity,” he continued.“You knew you had to work harder in school than your brothers to get the same amount of work done.”

  She gave him a gentle smile. “I was always thankful for Kane’s help.”

  “You two getting along better lately? I know he wasn’t the kindest to you when you first came here.”

  “I understand why he was upset and why you were—”

  “Honey, that’s in the past. I’m glad you’re here.” He interrupted her. “I’m glad I can spend time with the kids.”

  “As for Kane, we’ve come to an agreement,” she said.

  “Did he talk to you about what Mason suggested?”

  Anticipation sent her heart racing. “He did.” She hardly dared say more than that. Hardly dare jinx the possibilities that might arise.

  “I know you talked about college and going back to school…” Her father let the sentence trail off as he glanced at the book in her hand, a frown pulling his graying eyebrows together.

  For a moment the old pride and shame battled each other as she guessed what her father was thinking. That it would be too difficult for her. Too hard.

  “I can do it, you know,” she said, lifting her chin, clutching the book.

  “Of course you can. I never doubted that.” His emphasis on the last word puzzled her.<
br />
  “What do you mean?”

  Her father lowered the footrest of his recliner, and came over to sit beside her. He took the book away from her, set it aside, then held her hands in his own. “I know you can take any course you want and you’ll do great. I just wonder, why do you want to? Do you feel you have to prove something to us? To your family and the community?”

  His question hinted at her own insecurities and her pride.

  She waited, gathering her thoughts, trying to tease out her motivations. “I guess I thought it was the only way for me to support the kids properly. If I got a degree.”

  “In what?”

  Her thoughts blanked as they often did when she went too far into her future. College had always been the thing she aimed for, but she had so many steps to take before she even got within shooting distance of the target, she hadn’t planned what it would look like.

  “I was thinking teaching, like Faith.”

  “A five-year course,” her father said.

  The words echoed in her head, their reality a harsh clanging. She had never thought past the initial goal of getting in.

  Five years of scrimping and scraping to get by. Five years of struggle and uncertainty both with school and money.

  “I remember when you were a little girl you always dreamed about being a professional barrel racer.”

  “Well, that didn’t happen,” she said with a light laugh.

  Her father looked down at their still-joined hands, his tightening on hers. “I know it’s wasn’t because you didn’t have the ability. I wish we could have carried on.” He sighed, and Tricia’s mind slipped back to the conversation she had felt, at the time, destroyed her world.

  When her father and mother told her it wasn’t fair to spend so much money on her dream when they now had three boys to take care of too.

  But she was older and wiser now, she hoped. “It was the right thing to do,” she said. “I realize it wouldn’t have been fair.”

  “I know Kane and Lucas thought you were spoiled, and maybe you were.” He gave her an apologetic smile. “I don’t know if we ever told you how much work it was to bring you into the world. All the treatments your mother endured. How sad she was each time she lost another baby. How thrilled we were when the doctor told her she would carry you to term.”