The Cowboy's Lady Read online

  There it was again. She knew he was teasing, but a small part of her was bothered that this was how he still saw her. City girl.

  She angled him a wry look. “Oh, yeah. I’m sure that’s what made them extra skittish today.”

  “Skittish? Is that your word of the day?”

  “That and cantankerous, but I decided to go with skittish,” she replied. “A little more appropriate for the circumstances.”

  The sound of Cody’s laughter made her feel like she might actually be funny. And it sent a little flutter of happiness curling around her heart, easing away her little pique over his other comments.

  “Well, they seem less discombobulated,” Cody said. “Word of the day last week,” he added with a wink in Vivienne’s direction.

  She laughed again as Cody got his horse settled into a steady walk.

  In the easy quiet that followed, Vivienne felt a sense of peace slip into the moment. The sunshine, the movement of the horse, Cody’s presence beside her came together in one of those perfect junctures of events one wanted to hold close, capture and store away against those days when life wasn’t as peaceful. Or as easy.

  “Horse behaving for you?” Cody asked with a tilt of his head toward Tango.

  “Perfect gentleman,” Vivienne said. “I’m not a horse person, but he makes me look good.”

  Cody grinned. “You look pretty good anyway. And you seem pretty comfortable with him. I would have never guessed you hadn’t ridden before.”

  His compliment increased the flutter, as did the way his eyes glowed when he looked at her.

  “I’m glad you came along. Means a lot to me,” he said quietly, edging his horse closer.

  Vivienne’s heart lifted again as she caught his direct gaze. “I’m glad I came, too.” She glanced down at the low boots she had borrowed from Delores. “Though I’m sure my Jimmy Choo knockoffs are sad they couldn’t come along.”

  “Whatever that means,” Cody said, but his smile belied his comment.

  She looked up and was surprised to notice the herd had moved a considerable distance ahead of them. She and Cody rode alone far behind everyone else. Though they were outside and the sky arched above them in an expanse of blue and the valley they rode through swept away from them and up to the rugged mountains, she felt a curious sense of intimacy.

  “How did you train your horse to do all that?” she asked, glancing at his horse, who now plodded along, head down, the picture of docility—a complete contrast to the alert and responsive animal she’d seen moments ago.

  “Time. Lots of time. And practice. When things are quiet on the ranch, I take him out to the cattle and work them. Separate the calves. Move the cows around.”

  “Is that called cutting?”

  Cody shot her a curious look. “How do you know about that?”

  Vivienne lifted her shoulder in a shrug. “I talk to the guys a bit. Here and there.” Actually, she had talked to Ted one afternoon when he was hanging around the ranch and she had come back from her walk. Ted had told her a few things she didn’t know. Told her about Tabitha, which explained a few things for Vivienne.

  “Yeah…it’s called cutting. It’s an important skill for a cow horse to learn.” Cody reached over and patted his horse on the neck. “Coco here isn’t as docile as Tango, but he’s looking to be a real goer.”

  Vivienne drew in a long breath, glancing around the valley, a sense of peace drifting over her. “It’s really beautiful here,” she said. “I’m so glad you asked me to come.”

  Cody edged his horse closer. “I’m glad you came, too.”

  Then he reached over and covered her gloved hand with his. Leather came between them, yet she felt his touch as easily as if her hands had been bare.

  She glanced over at him, but his eyes were shadowed by his hat. She leaned closer, as if to get a better look. He leaned, as well, and then their faces were mere inches apart, moving in time to the horses’ slow walk. Cody brushed his knuckle over her cheek, she moved just a bit and once again their lips met in an awkward yet tender kiss.

  Vivienne was the first to draw back, a welter of emotions surging through her.

  This was silly.

  Yet so right.

  You’re a city girl, not a ranch hand.

  But for now, none of that mattered. For now she and Cody were riding along surrounded by the beauty of God’s creation.

  “I wish I could tell you how much this means,” he said quietly, their legs rubbing against each other as their horses stayed close. “You coming out like this.”

  His smile plucked at the center of her heart, because in it she read more than happiness. She read contentment.

  And strangely enough, she shared his emotion.

  The scent of warm horseflesh and oiled leather combined with the dust from the cattle created its own ambience so foreign to anything she’d ever done before, yet bringing with it a serenity she’d never felt before. She looked up into Cody’s eyes and found herself drifting, moving toward him again.

  She pulled back, trying to shift back to reality. Too many things were uncertain in her life right now. This thing with Cody…it couldn’t happen.

  Could it?

  “Did Tabitha ever come riding with you?” The question popped out of a need to regain perspective. Cody had been married before. That was his reality.

  And a part of her wanted to find out more about his first wife. To know whether it was loneliness that caused Cody to kiss her. Or something else she wasn’t sure she wanted to identify just yet.

  Cody shook his head. “She always said this wasn’t her thing. She was a city girl. Still don’t know why she married me.”

  Vivienne knew why. Cody was a good man. A good catch.

  If you wanted to live out on the ranch.

  “Maybe she hoped you would change,” she said quietly, trying to rein her horse away from Cody’s. But her horse stubbornly refused to move away.

  “Maybe.” Cody looked ahead now and his expression hardened. “She knew who and what I was when we got married. I just wish…”

  His sentence trailed off, and Vivienne caught a flash of pain in his eyes.

  “I’m sorry that you had to deal with her death,” Vivienne said, touching his arm. “I’m sure that was hard.”

  Cody’s shoulders lifted in a slow sigh. “It was. But so many other emotions got tangled in her death.” He kept his eyes on the dust cloud of the herd of cows now far ahead of them. “She was running away when she was killed in that car accident. She was leaving me. I don’t know if you knew that.”

  Vivienne didn’t know what to say, so she opted for simply listening.

  “She said she couldn’t live out here. Couldn’t handle the isolation of living in a small town. I should have guessed. She was a glamour girl who couldn’t adjust. I guess it wasn’t fair of me to hope she would change and fall in love with the ranch.” He clenched his jaw against his spill of words and drew in another breath. “But she never did. Tabitha was forever complaining about the house and buying new furniture. I couldn’t do anything to please her. Twice she left. Then she would come home and things would get better, but just for a bit…”

  “Go on,” she said softly when he took a long, shuddering breath and looked like he might not continue.

  “One day she left me a long letter saying she couldn’t stay here anymore. She didn’t love me anymore and was moving back to Denver. Back to her wealthy parents’ place, where she said she could be who she wanted to be.” His words came out in a rapid-fire tirade, then he released a bitter laugh, as if he still couldn’t believe what happened. “I wasn’t going to follow her, and I didn’t. If she wanted to leave, I had to let her.” He shook his head, his gaze still on the road ahead, as if ashamed of his actions. “I had always told myself that if she wanted to come back she would. She had in the past. I was never running after her or any other woman.”

  Vivienne heard the edge in his voice and wondered if she was included in that pronounc
ement. If it had anything to do with him asking her out so long ago.

  And her turning him down.

  He clenched his jaw, clamping back any other words that might spill out. His horse, as if sensing his tension, flicked its ears and tossed its head. Cody settled him but still said nothing.

  Vivienne felt there was more to the story.

  “Was that when she died?” she asked, keeping her tone gentle, her words quiet.

  Cody blew out his breath and nodded. “She drove on to Denver, but she didn’t make it. Her car slid on the road. It was wet and I’d been after her to get new tires on the car. I didn’t have time to do it. I should have.”

  “It wasn’t your fault,” Vivienne said, hearing the guilt in his voice. “She made her own choices.”

  “But if I had gone after her. Tried to convince her to come back to the ranch, then maybe—”

  His hands clenched on the reins.

  “Maybe what?” Vivienne gently prompted, trying to catch his eyes. “Maybe she would have stayed? But would she have stayed long? She might have left again.”

  Cody dragged his gloved hand over his face and released a bitter laugh.

  “She might have.” When he looked at her, Vivienne almost recoiled at the raw pain in his expression, the chill in his eyes. “But maybe she would have had the baby she was carrying. If I had gone after her, maybe I’d have a child now.”

  Chapter Eleven

  The angry words slashed the quiet.

  Vivienne’s heart grew cold as the implications of what he said settled into her mind.

  She clutched the reins, her heart plunging. “So she was expecting?”

  “I found out from her parents. She hadn’t even told me.” The words came out heavy, weighted with his sorrow.

  He stopped his horse and Vivienne stopped hers. Then she pulled off her gloves and cupped his face with her bare hand. His skin was smooth, warm. And when he turned to her she saw the broken longing in his gaze.

  “I’m sorry, Cody. So sorry.” The words were a tiny offering, as was her touch, but she couldn’t stand by and watch him and not connect in some way. He looked so forlorn. So alone.

  To her surprise, he covered her hand with his, and his sad smile touched her soul. “I’ve never told anyone this before,” he said. “Other than Tabitha’s parents. You’re the only one who knows.”

  Vivienne frowned at that. “Not your uncle, or your parents?”

  He released a short laugh. “When I got married I think my parents were more excited about the possibility of becoming grandparents than they were about becoming in-laws.” He leaned forward in his saddle, resting his forearms on the saddle horn as he stared straight ahead. “I couldn’t figure out how to tell them.”

  “You should. They need to know.”

  “Now? After all this time?” He angled her a curious glance. “They didn’t even know what they lost. Won’t it bother them?”

  “It might, but it can also help you,” she said softly, fiddling with the ends of her reins. Her horse stamped its feet but stayed where it was. “A burden shared is a burden halved.”

  He caught his lower lip between his teeth, then he turned to her, his face still shadowed by the brim of his hat. “I guess.” Then he gave her a rueful little smile. “Thanks for listening.”

  “Of course.”

  As she held his gaze, knowledge that she was one of the few people who knew about his loss altered their relationship. His moment of vulnerability had slipped into her heart and shifted, once again, her perception of him. It had also created a deeper connection between them.

  And where was that going? What would she do about that?

  The ever-present questions pulled her in so many directions, she couldn’t think. She needed some space. Some distance.

  And this time, when she pulled on Tango’s reins, he responded. Tango shook his head but then thankfully moved away from Cody. She took a chance, nudged her horse in the side and he broke into a quick walk. Minutes later she was caught up to the herd.

  She didn’t look back once to see where Cody was.

  “Jasmine really enjoyed her afternoon at the ranch a couple of days ago,” Arabella said, wiping four-year-old Jessie’s face and then tugging Julie’s ponytail straight.

  It was Thursday afternoon and she and Vivienne were finishing up a picnic in the park.

  “Spending time with you made her even more inspired to go to culinary school after she and Cade are married, which I’m happy about.” Arabella used her shoulder to push her long, brown hair away from her face, then started packing up the leftovers from the lunch she and Vivienne had shared with her triplets.

  “I’d love to do it again, even if Cody says the ranch is not a retreat center.” Vivienne added an ironic grin as she wiped Jamie’s little fingers on a napkin.

  “Arabella did say something about Cody’s reaction to their makeovers. He didn’t seem happy.”

  Vivienne let Jamie slide off her lap so she could join her sisters on the old swing set. “Cody was worried about his little sister. She’s been making eyes at Bryce, the hand that works at the ranch.”

  Arabella frowned. “Bryce Anderson? Tall, slender kid? Wears his hair in a buzz cut? Hangs out with Les and Billy Dean?”

  “Add to that major attitude and that would be about right.” Vivienne stood up from the picnic table, shook the crumbs off her skirt and then helped her cousin clean up the remains of their picnic.

  Today was Vivienne’s day off, so she had brought Bonnie to school this morning and then dropped her car off at Art Krueger’s mechanic shop. The brakes were still not working properly. She’d had to put up with some mouth from Billy Dean, who accused her of riding them too hard. He told her they wouldn’t be ready for a couple more days, so she made arrangements to get a ride back to the ranch with Grady’s wife, Delores, who had come into town to do some shopping, as well.

  Then she walked across town to her cousin Arabella’s place, thankful her foot felt much better. She was at loose ends. Brooke was bringing Darlene to an appointment with a specialist and Vivienne desperately needed to talk to someone about her situation. About her changing feelings for Cody and her confusion about her plans.

  Because the weather was so beautiful, Arabella had decided to have a picnic. Now the creaking of the old, unoiled swings sang across the park, accompanied by the occasional growl of a truck heading to either the Cowboy Café or the grocery store across the street.

  “Still don’t know how you do it,” Vivienne said, glancing back at the three girls. “Take care of the triplets, working long hours, helping with the wedding—”

  “And thanks for offering to cater that,” Arabella cut in, her golden eyes warm with gratitude. “I can’t imagine taking care of that.”

  “I can’t either, not on top of all the other things you do.”

  “I break my life into small goals. Try not to look too far ahead.”

  Vivienne sighed. “Something I’ve been trying to do the past while.”

  Arabella pushed her hair back from her face again, her golden eyes holding Vivienne’s. “Is something bothering you?”

  Vivienne handed her cousin the last of the containers and bit her lip, her feelings still such a muddle she wasn’t sure she could even articulate them.

  “Why did you stay in Clayton?” Vivienne finally asked. “You had a chance to leave when Auntie Katrina—I mean, your mom—got into that fight with Grandpa George all those years ago. Was it just because of Harry?”

  Arabella looked around the square, as if taking stock of the town they had both been born and raised in. “My ex was part of the reason, and goodness knows Mom has been trying hard enough lately to get me to leave. But Clayton was and is my home. My mom has tried again and again to talk me into moving away, but I never had big dreams of living anywhere else, or doing anything else like you did.” Then she zeroed in on Vivienne. “Why do you ask?”

  Vivienne picked up a plastic bag and pleated it between he
r fingers, struggling to articulate her concerns and her changing feelings for Cody Jameson. “All I ever wanted to do was leave Clayton, become a chef, and look how well that turned out. Turfed out of my job.”

  “You didn’t get fired because you were a lousy chef,” Arabella admonished her.

  “But I made a huge mistake that could have been fatal. If that wedding guest had eaten that shellfish, he would have died. They had specifically requested no shellfish.”

  “How were you to know? You were only working with the menu your boss gave you. He never said anything about no shellfish.”

  “I should have double-checked. I should have done my homework. I should have—” Vivienne caught herself there, the self-recrimination rising up to accuse her once again. “Anyway, I’m trying to put that behind me. I still want to start up my own restaurant. At least, I did.”

  Arabella frowned and came to sit down on the wooden bench beside Vivienne, her full skirt settling around her. “Did? Are you changing your mind?”

  Vivienne shrugged, her attention still on the plastic bag she was mutilating. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “Lately, it seems things are changing. My priorities, my goals.” She looked up at her cousin, the emotions she’d experienced the past few days suddenly needing expression. “I’m growing more and more attracted to Cody Jameson.”

  “And who wouldn’t?” Arabella said with ill-contained glee. “Didn’t he used to like you in high school?”

  Vivienne waved her cousin’s comment aside, a thread of shame wending its way around her heart even as her cheeks warmed at the thought of Cody’s schoolboy affection for her. “I kind of think he does again.”

  Arabella’s eyes widened, and then she punched her cousin’s shoulder. “Seriously? You and Cody Jameson?” she squealed.

  A young couple pushing a baby carriage along the park glanced their way, and Vivienne clapped her hand over Arabella’s mouth.

  “Would you shush,” Vivienne hissed, glancing around, hoping no one else heard. But as far as she could see, the two women chatting in front of the grocery store and the old cowboy ambling down the street toward the drugstore didn’t seem to notice. And thankfully the triplets had moved from the swings and were now playing hide-and-seek around the gazebo, their happy voices floating back to them. “Gossip in this town spreads faster than honey on warm toast.”