The Cowboy's Family Christmas Read online

  “I want us to work too,” she said, giving him a tremulous smile. “And I want to give us the best possible chance to make that happen.”

  Reuben nodded as his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. He felt a flicker of guilt. The nurse had asked them to turn their phones off when they came into the room. In his haste to see his father, he had forgotten. However, he was expecting a call from Marshall.

  He felt he was getting squeezed into a narrower and narrower space.

  “I’m going to get a cup of coffee,” he said. “Do you want anything?”

  “Not vending machine coffee, that’s for sure,” she said with a grin.

  He kissed her again, then he went out into the hallway. As he walked to the lobby, the sound of Christmas carols surrounded him. The nurses had strung lights and tinsel and hung paper bells by the nurse’s station in an attempt to create a festive atmosphere.

  Quite the challenge in a hospital, Reuben thought as he stepped out the sliding glass doors into the outside chill.

  Flakes of snow sparkled and spiraled downward, adding to the layer they already had. Reuben took a moment to appreciate the beauty and peace of the scene. If the snow kept up, he and Leanne would have to put out more straw for bedding for the cows and weaned calves tomorrow.

  He caught himself, tried to take a step back from the plans he was making. He was getting sucked into the day-to-day workings of the ranch. He knew from past experience that would only lead to disappointment and frustration. George would find a way to shut him out.

  With renewed determination he pulled his phone out of his pocket and made a call.

  “Hey, Marshall, how’s it going?” he said trying to sound more jovial than he felt. He still had to wrap his head around the sight of his father looking so weak and helpless and what it meant for him and Leanne.

  “Good. So, I just got a call from Dynac. They want to meet with you as soon as possible.”

  “How soon is that?”

  “I’ve got a meet and greet set up for eight o’clock Sunday evening. Can you get here by then?”

  “I’m not sure.” Reuben fought down another beat of panic as events closed in. “My dad’s just had a heart attack, and Saturday I have to make a final presentation to the Rodeo Group I’ve been working for here.”

  There was ominous silence on the other end of the line.

  “Look, I’m sorry about your dad, but I can’t shift it. This is an important meeting.”

  “Okay. I’ll do what I can.”

  “No. You’ll be here. That’s it.”

  Marshall disconnected the call, and Reuben leaned his head against the wall, trying to plan. He could probably take the meeting. The doctor had said George’s heart attack wasn’t as serious as they’d initially thought. That he was in good shape and would recuperate. He wouldn’t miss Reuben anyhow.

  Twenty minutes later he had his flight booked for as late as he could possibly set it and still make the meeting.

  As he walked back to the hospital room, the cold air still permeating him, his thoughts shifted to Leanne and her comment about wanting to give them the best chance to make their relationship work.

  And he strongly suspected she meant staying here and not moving with him to Los Angeles.

  In spite of what just happened with George, he still didn’t think it was possible.

  Chapter Ten

  “Sit on Grampa,” Austin said, trying to climb up on George’s bed.

  “Stay here, buddy. Grandpa is still not feeling good.” Reuben caught Austin by the waist and pulled him up into his arms.

  It was Friday afternoon, a little over twenty-four hours after his heart attack, and George was looking much improved over yesterday. Last night, as he and Leanne kept vigil, Reuben would not have thought that his father could be coming home in a few days. But now George’s eyes looked brighter and he had more color in his face. His sister, Fay Cosgrove, had come by for a short visit, and Carmen Fisher, the manager of the hardware store, had dropped by with flowers. But for the most part they had tried to keep visitors to a minimum.

  “I’m okay. He can sit beside me,” George said, holding his hands out for his grandson.

  Reuben wanted to protest, but Austin was reaching for George, and Reuben had spent enough time with Austin that he knew when to stand firm and when to give in. Once Austin had fixed his mind on something, it was almost impossible to persuade him to change it.

  He was exactly like his father and grandfather, Reuben thought with a touch of irony.

  He set Austin on the bed; watchful of the cords that snaked to the monitors George was still attached to.

  “How are the cows doing?” George asked, turning to Leanne.

  “Good. Chad and I put out extra bedding this morning,” Leanne said, fussing with George’s sheet. Austin had tugged it down. “It snowed again last night though.”

  “Will we have enough straw or hay?”

  “We’ll know in a couple of months whether we’ll manage or not.”

  “I contacted a farmer north of Calgary,” Reuben put in, surprised how annoyed he felt at being left out of the loop. “He has a couple of hundred bales of hay he can get us for January.”

  Leanne shot him a puzzled look and he realized how he sounded. He was planning for the ranch past Christmas when he had been firm that he was leaving before that.

  “You’re talking about getting them delivered in January?” she asked, lifting her eyebrows, underlining her question.

  He held her gaze, wondering how to approach this. “Chad can take care of unloading.”

  Leanne looked away and Reuben fought down a beat of concern. They really needed to sit and talk. Make solid plans. But how callous would it look for him to talk about moving away right after George’s heart attack?

  Take care of yourself, he reminded himself. No one else will.

  Yet as he looked at his father, he was surprised how much it bothered him to see George so vulnerable.

  Austin wriggled away, rubbing his eyes as he moved to Leanne’s side of the bed.

  “Stay here, son,” George said, pulling Austin back to him. But Austin shook his head and held his hands out to Leanne.

  “I think I should get him back home,” Leanne was saying. “He’s tired.”

  She looked tired too, Reuben thought.

  “Did you have time to pick up those Christmas presents I got sent to the store?” George asked her.

  Leanne shook her head. “I thought I could do that Saturday. We have a meeting with the Rodeo Group and Tabitha will be babysitting him.”

  “That’d be good.” George glanced over at Reuben and gave him a surprising smile. “I’m glad I’ll be here for Christmas after all.”

  Though Reuben returned his smile, the usual confusion and tension at the thought of the holiday season seized him. Once again he was torn between his future job and the possibility of a life here with his father.

  Don’t go there. You’ve been burned enough by this man. He’s made you doubt everything about yourself. He’s never lifted you up. He’s even made you wonder if you could ever be a father.

  Leanne bent awkwardly over and brushed a light kiss over George’s forehead. He reached up and caught her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “You’re a good daughter,” he said, his voice quiet, clearly moved by her action.

  She gave him a careful smile then walked out. Reuben followed her into the hall, where the carols from the nurse’s station filled the air, creating a curious counterpoint to the moment.

  But she put her hand on his arm. “Stay with your father. I’m bringing Austin home and I might take a nap too.”

  She did look tired, he thought with some concern. Tired and worn. Too many things on her mind probably. He knew he was worn out from all the convoluted t
hinking he’d been indulging in.

  “I guess I can stay for a while,” he said, even though he wasn’t sure he wanted to be left alone with George. “I should spend as much time with my father as I can.”

  His comment created a frown, underlining the shaky underpinnings of their situation.

  “There’s something else,” he said. “I have an important meeting in Los Angeles on Sunday.”

  Alarm flitted over her features and she looked away. “For your job.”

  “Yeah. I can’t get out of it.”

  “Of course. You should go.”

  She didn’t sound excited about the idea and he didn’t know what else to tell her.

  “This is important to me,” he said, keeping his voice low, his tone easy.

  She looked at him, gave him a smile and then, to his surprise, she leaned in and gave him a kiss. “I know. We’ll be okay here while you’re gone.”

  “I’ll be back on Monday at the latest. For George’s homecoming.”

  “That’s good.” She touched his cheek then left.

  Reuben watched her walk down the hall, Austin on her hip, tamping down the fear that things were starting to get out of his control.

  He came back to the hospital room and sat down on the chair beside his father’s bed.

  “Have you finished your report?” George asked Reuben. “On the arena?”

  “Yes, I have. It didn’t take as long as I expected. I managed to get hold of all the subcontractors right away and most of them were still in Cedar Ridge so that helped.”

  “And what did you decide?”

  “It’s viable. Worth fixing up. Say what you want about Floyd Rennie, he used good materials.”

  George huffed at that, but it was as if his reaction was more automatic than heartfelt. “He was still a shyster,” George said.

  “I hope you don’t say that in front of Leanne,” Reuben said, trying to keep his tone light.

  George shot him a glare. “I say what I want about that man. Leanne knows he was a crook.”

  “But he was still her father. I know she cared about him.”

  “So you think that in spite of everything he did, she would love him anyway if he was alive?”

  A curious tone had entered his father’s voice. Reuben sensed he wasn’t talking about Leanne and Floyd Rennie anymore.

  “I think blood is thicker than water,” Reuben said. “I think there’s always a connection between a father and his child that can never be erased.”

  He spoke of Leanne and her father, but also of himself and Austin. Once he’d known, beyond a doubt, that Austin was his son, the feelings he had for the little guy had grown stronger every day.

  George looked away, staring at the wall, but it seemed that he wasn’t looking at it. Instead Reuben sensed he was looking into the past.

  What did he see? Did he remember all the fights they’d had? The times George had physically punished him? The raised voices, the clenched fists?

  Or was he thinking of some of the happy times they’d shared? Working together, going fishing in the creek?

  “I still miss Dirk” was all George said.

  The stark sentence was like a knife in his heart. Why did this bother him so much? Why did he spend so much time and emotion on this clearly one-sided relationship?

  He couldn’t be here anymore, no matter what Leanne said. He was about to stand when his father looked over at him. “But you’re here now,” he said, holding his gaze, his eyes intent on Reuben. “And you’re all I have left.”

  Then George reached out to take Reuben’s hand. The move was surprising. As his father squeezed, a reluctant joy suffused Reuben.

  George clung to his hand, looking up at him. “I’m sorry, son.”

  Reuben could only stare, shock mixing with an older longing. This was the first time, ever, that he had heard those words cross his father’s lips.

  “You look surprised,” George said.

  “I guess I am,” Reuben said.

  George pulled his hand away and the gentleness on his expression was replaced with a downturn of his father’s mouth. “Well, you should be. I don’t like apologizing,” he said, sounding more like the old George. He drummed his fingers on the bed, as his mouth grew tight. “I know I came close to dying, and it made me think about us and how things have been between us.”

  Reuben felt as if they were on the precipice of something different and unknown. He wasn’t sure where George was going with this or what he would say. So he simply leaned forward, inviting his father to talk.

  “I tried. You have to know that.” George shifted his gaze to Reuben. “You were too much like your mother to make it easy for me. You were always a challenge.”

  So were you, Reuben wanted to say but again he kept quiet.

  “But when your mother left, I had to take care of you. I should have done better. You were my responsibility in spite of everything.”

  “What do you mean, ‘in spite of everything’?” Reuben blurted out.

  George looked away, pulling his hand out of Reuben’s. “I don’t want to talk anymore.” He closed his eyes and folded his hands over his stomach.

  Reuben guessed the conversation was over.

  Yet he lingered a few moments longer. His father’s confession, his moment of vulnerability, had shifted Reuben’s feelings. As did the fact that he almost lost his father.

  But as Reuben walked back down the hall and out of the hospital he wondered if it was enough to make him change his plans.

  As his truck warmed up, he brushed off the snow that had gathered on the windshield, his thoughts jumping between the promise of his new job in a new place and the memories of his life here. He’d been away so long, could he come back?

  He got into his truck, pulling off his gloves. As he reached to turn on the heater, he caught sight of an old scar on his wrist.

  I’m sorry.

  Reuben put his truck into Drive, backed up and spun out of the parking lot, snow spitting out behind him.

  He didn’t know if it was enough.

  * * *

  “Are you okay?” Leanne laid her hand on Reuben’s shoulder. He’d been in a dark mood ever since he’d come back from the hospital.

  “It’s hard...seeing my father so weak.” He dragged his hands over his face as if trying to erase what he had seen.

  “The doctor said he’ll be okay,” Leanne said, tightening her grip.

  “I know.” He sucked in another long breath and Leanne sensed something else was going on.

  But she left it alone. She couldn’t force it if he wasn’t ready.

  The dishes were done and Austin was already in his pajamas, ready for bed, cheeks shining from his bath. Leanne had put Christmas music on the stereo and the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree should have made her feel more content. But Reuben’s mood created a sense of unease.

  Then Austin scooted over, carrying a book that Leanne had bought for him this afternoon and he dropped it on Reuben’s lap. “Read it,” he demanded.

  Reuben laughed, seemingly letting go of his previous bad mood, and pulled the little guy up on his lap, snuggling him close as he opened the book and started reading. Leanne relaxed at the sight, watching Reuben, his head bent over his son’s.

  Father and son.

  How often had Leanne dreamed of this moment? The three of them together in the ranch house, making it a home?

  Austin looked intently at the story Reuben read about a colt that had gotten lost and was trying to find its mother by talking to other farm animals. Reuben changed his voice for each of the animals as he read, making Austin laugh.

  When the book was finished, Austin turned to the first page again. “Read it again,” he said.

  So Reuben did,
but when he came to the end again, Austin started yawning. Nevertheless, he flipped the book to the beginning. “Again,” he demanded. “Read it again.”

  “I think someone needs to go to bed,” Reuben said, closing the book.

  “No. Read it. Read it. Read it.” Austin’s voice grew louder and shriller and Leanne saw his tears gathering as he tugged on the book.

  “No, buddy. You need to go to sleep.” Reuben tried to take the book from him but Austin wriggled in his arms, a small bundle of fury.

  “No sleep. Read!” Austin yelled, his face red, tears of anger streaming down his cheeks. He swung the book around and hit Reuben on the face with the corner.

  “Ouch. That hurt.” Reuben caught Austin by the arms, staring down at him, eyes narrowed. Austin was suddenly quiet, as if sensing he had pushed things too far.

  Then Reuben abruptly set Austin aside. He jumped up from the couch and strode into the dining room.

  Austin started crying again and Leanne picked him up, wiped his eyes and then brought him upstairs.

  “See Uncle Wooben,” Austin whimpered as Leanne closed the door of his room behind them.

  “No. You hurt him with your book,” Leanne said, keeping her voice quiet. She was still surprised at the look of horror on Reuben’s face when he had reprimanded Austin.

  “I sorry,” Austin said, hanging his head.

  “That’s good. I’ll tell...Uncle Reuben.” She faltered over those last words, a sense of dread tightening her abdomen. They had to tell Austin. It wasn’t fair to keep this from him much longer.

  But that would mean telling George, and now, with him just recuperating from the heart attack, when could they do that?

  She tucked Austin into his bed, and as she sang his bedtime prayers with him, the door opened and Reuben stepped into the room. He stood by the door, as if uncertain what to do but then Leanne waved him over.

  He came by the bed and Austin grinned up at him, everything forgotten. “I wove you, Uncle Wooben,” he said.

  Reuben dropped to his knees beside the bed and pulled Austin to him in a tight hug. “Love you too,” he whispered.