Seeking Home

  Seeking Home

  Carolyne Aarsen

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  Chapter 1

  “When is the buyer coming?”

  Nana gave Tanner a smile, her quiet question breaking the silence between them. She sat back in the swing on the deck, her eyes ranging over the ranch she had moved to as a young bride. The ranch she had raised two daughters and two grandsons. The ranch that had been in the family for generations of Bonds.

  And the place Tanner had just sold.

  “This morning sometime,” Tanner said, stifling his guilt over the transaction.

  “What can you tell me about this man? The one who’s buying the ranch?” Nana asked.

  “The buyer is a she.”

  “She?”

  “Yes. I thought I told you that Friday after Floyd, that new real estate agent that works for Pete called.”

  “No, you just said there was a buyer, and before you could give me any more details, Shannon came over. Then Ken called and you left and didn’t come back until Saturday. And then you didn’t come to church with me yesterday, so we couldn’t talk afterwards.”

  Tanner heard the faint reprimand in her gentle words. When he and his brother, Garret, lived here, Nana expected them to attend church every Sunday.

  And they did. Tanner remembered sitting with his mother, Nana, Papa, and Garret, always in the same pew. The Bond family pew. Their Aunt Noelle—Hailey, Naomi, and Shannon’s mother—always sat there too. On most Sundays they almost filled the bench.

  Noelle had moved away years ago, Garret was traveling all around the world for his job, Naomi was in Halifax with her fiancé, who was recently diagnosed with terminal colon cancer, Hailey was living five hours away, and Shannon, the only cousin who had stayed, was making plans to leave.

  Only Nana would be left. And the ranch, the stronghold of the Bond family for generations, was moving into other hands.

  It’s not your responsibility to carry on the Bond legacy. You have good reasons to get shed of this place.

  “She used to live here close to Rockyview,” he said, shorting out the internal voice. “The woman who’s buying the ranch.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Sabine Radowski.” He took a deep sip of his lemonade, enjoying its sweet tang. “I guess Rockyview wasn’t so hard on her, if she’s thinking of settling down here.”

  Nana frowned, as if raking back through her memories, then she nodded. “Ah, yes. I remember that family. Old Jurgen Radowski had a heavy Polish accent. He bought the old Lischka place from his sister. Worked so hard to build it up, but when his son, Stefan, took over, things went downhill. Sad what happened to the man. Sadder yet what happened to the family. I remember Sabine. She was a little spitfire. Such a tomboy.”

  “She dressed kind of scruffy. Always wore sweats and sloppy T-shirts, and she wore her hair in tight French braids.” He laughed at the memory. “I can still see her, arms crossed, slouched, in a chair at her dad’s farm auction the bank held when they repossessed the ranch. She was glaring at everyone as if daring them to buy anything. That was when I was in high school so she must have been about twelve or thirteen.”

  “Must have been so hard for her. Poor girl.”

  “Well, she seems to have gotten hold of some money. Enough to put a down payment on the place.”

  “What do you think she’s been doing since she left Rockyview to get together that much money?” Nana Bond asked, echoing his own thoughts.

  “Who knows? She didn’t get it from her dad.”

  Nana was quiet, still pushing the swing with her foot. “So, I imagine once Sabine takes over you’ll be on your way?”

  Tanner took another swig, resting his ankle on his knee, trying not to fan the flicker of guilt he always felt at walking away from all of this.

  You need to do this. For yourself and for Ken.

  “I’ll be popping in and out to check on you,” he said. “Ken has me tied up the next couple of weeks, but I’ll be around from time to time.”

  Nana gave him a wan smile, her face still alarmingly pale. “The doctor gave me a clean bill of health, you know that,” she said, giving the swing another push with her bare foot. “Besides, it wasn’t a major heart attack.”

  “It was still a heart attack and a wake-up call.” Tanner leaned forward, resting his forearms on his legs, struggling with the usual feelings of guilt and remorse. When he got the call from his cousin Shannon that their beloved nana was in the hospital, he hurried back to Rockyview from a meeting with Ken and Jennings in Vancouver, going so far over the speed limit he couldn’t believe he hadn’t been stopped by the Mounties. Nana was already discharged from the hospital before he came here, which made Tanner glad he had quit his job so he could spend some time with her.

  And put the ranch up for sale. A month later it sold, and today Sabine was coming for a visit.

  “But the reality is you’ll need to find a place in town,” he said. “Permanently.”

  “I know. I’d been thinking about doing that even before you decided to sell the ranch, so you don’t need to get yourself all twisted up in guilty knots about feeling like you’re forcing me out.”

  He didn’t reply to that because, despite her decision, he still felt guilty.

  His default emotion the last few years.

  “As well, it gets lonely out here,” she said, taking a sip of her lemonade. “Sophie Brouwer has been encouraging me to move to town, and I think I should. I really don’t mind.”

  “That’s good to know,” Tanner said, her comments making him feel marginally better. He’d given his brother a chance at buying the ranch, but Garret had other plans for his future, so he wasn’t interested. Shannon couldn’t afford it on her nurse’s wages and neither could Naomi or Hailey. At least he could say he’d given the family the opportunity.

  He heard a buzzing sound and smiled as a hummingbird dipped its long beak into some flowers in one of the many flowerpots hanging from the wraparound deck. That was the one thing Nana had stayed on top of after they let the hired hand go, sold the cows, and rented out the land. She still planted her garden.

  “And if Sabine changes her mind, that’s okay too if I have to move right away. Though I’m hoping you’ll stick around to help.”

  Stress fingered his spine. Ken, Tanner’s future partner, was putting pressure on him to finalize their own business deal. In fact, he had resented the time Tanner took to even come out and visit Nana.

  “Shannon can help too,” his grandmother said, as if sensing his hesitation. “She won’t be leaving for a few months yet.”

  “We’ll figure it out,” was all he could offer.

  He was about to say more when the sound of a vehicle approaching caught their attention.

  “I imagine that’s her,” Nana said.

  Diesel truck, Tanner thought, as he got to his feet, surprisingly nervous at the thought of meeting Sabine as the new owner of the ranch. Real estate agents had handled everything, and when Sabine had first visited the ranch, no one was around.

  No time for second thoughts, he reminded himself, walking to the edge of the verandah as an older pickup truck rounded the bend, slowed down, and parked beside his truck.

  Sabine got out, and Tanner had to do a double-take. The woman with copper-colored hair flowing down her back, red lipstick, and smoky eyes looked nothing like the ragamuffin he remembered from high school. The white button-up shirt she wore was rolled up at the cuffs and tucked into snugly fitting blu
e jeans that were artfully ripped and torn. Her high-heeled boots made her legs look even longer and more slender than he remembered.

  She looked stunning and sophisticated and not at all what he expected.

  But what really sent his heart pounding and his nerves jangling was the little girl who got out of the other side of the truck, her hair a copper halo of curls, her bright blue eyes wide as she looked around the ranch.

  “Is this going to be ours, Mommy?” she asked as she slammed the door.

  Tanner’s legs weakened as he clung to the railing. He couldn’t breathe. Couldn’t get enough air.

  The little girl that walked around the front of the truck to take her mother’s hand was exactly the same age that Paulette would have been.

  His little girl.

  Tanner Bond had always been attractive in high school, Sabine thought, looking at the tall, broad-shouldered man standing beside his grandmother on the verandah, staring at them.

  Not that he would have ever paid any attention to her. She was four years younger, awkward and gangly.

  Age had matured him, put interesting angles on his handsome features. His hair was longer, framing the attractive planes of his face.

  Sabine felt a flush warm her cheeks and she fought it down.

  Be professional, girl, she warned herself. That was then, this is now. You’re not the ragtag girl you were, constantly looking for affirmation.

  But he was frowning, grey eyes narrowed, his mouth pressed into a thin line, his expression disapproving.

  Sabine checked the buttons on her shirt. No, all was secure. She flicked her fingers through her hair, pressing her lips together, wondering if she should have toned down the makeup. Worn her cowboy boots instead of the suede ankle boots she bought to make an entrance and a good impression.

  Well, from Tanner’s expression, it wasn’t the right one.

  She swallowed again, worried questions tumbling through her mind. Did she offend him? Or, worse yet, did he remember who she was? Was he one of the kids who once tormented her?

  Olivia was thankfully oblivious, looking around, her eyes full of wonder. “This is a cool ranch, isn’t it? It’s so awesome. I’m so excited to live here.”

  Tanner stood on the deck, now glaring down at his hands curled into fists, ignoring both of them.

  This grew more awkward by the second.

  Then Tanner’s grandmother, who had been sitting on the porch swing, stood and walked past Tanner and down the steps of the large wraparound verandah toward them.

  “I guess this is your official welcome to the Circle K, Sabine,” she said, smiling as she greeted them, her arms open wide. “My name is Jennie Bond. I’ll forgo any of the spy jokes my grandson Garret would make about our last name.” Gray hair, cut in a chin-length bob, framed a friendly face, enhanced her blue eyes. Sabine could see the family resemblance to Tanner in the narrow nose and deep-set eyes. Eyes that flicked from her to Olivia then a quick glance back at Tanner as if puzzled at her grandson’s reaction.

  “Thanks so much,” Sabine said, not sure if she should step into Jennie’s arms, grab each of her hands, or just shake one. So she kept her own hands on Olivia’s shoulders, looking down at her daughter.

  Jennie lowered her hands, as if sensing Sabine’s hesitation. She looked at Olivia. “Hello, little miss,” she said. “What’s your name?”

  Olivia, never a shy child, did what her mother couldn’t, and took Jennie’s hand, holding it between hers. “I’m Olivia, and I’m eight. I’m getting a horse when we live here.”

  “Are you? That’s wonderful and exciting. I had a horse when I was your age.”

  “You were eight?” Olivia asked, sounding dumbfounded that the older woman standing in front of her could ever have been anywhere close to her age.

  “I know. It seems unlikely. That was sixty-two years ago,” Jennie said with a wry smile. “But I did have a horse. His name was Pinto.”

  “That’s a good horse name,” Olivia said. “I want to be a barrel racer. Maybe I’ll name my horse Pinto too.”

  As Sabine watched the interaction between her daughter and Jennie, she was once again amazed at Olivia’s ease with people and her confidence. Traits she definitely got from her biological father, God rest his soul.

  “A barrel racer. That’s a great goal. Was your mother one?”

  Olivia laughed, looking back up at Sabine, as if the thought of her mother on a horse was as improbable as Jennie being eight years old. “Nope. She’s really smart, but all she does is sit in an office.”

  “Tanner was telling me that your mother used to live on a ranch. I’m sure she rode horses then.”

  “That was a long time ago.” And with a casual wave of her hand, Olivia dismissed the stories Sabine had told her daughter of the many years she had spent riding in the hills of her father’s ranch, rounding up cows, looking for strays, riding fence, battling snow, rain, wind but also enjoying the sunny days. Doing the work of a hired hand without the benefit of a wage.

  And loving every minute of it.

  “And now you and your mother will live on a ranch again.” Jennie turned to Sabine, her smile just as wide as before.

  Sabine hesitated, glancing over at Tanner, who was still frowning as he looked at her daughter. Though she had been to the ranch when she first was discussing purchasing it, Tanner hadn’t been there. Jennie Bond hadn’t either, so Sabine could walk through the place with no one else around.

  All of the paperwork had been put through and the official takeover date wasn’t for three weeks yet, but Sabine wanted to finalize a few things. Look at purchasing cows and a tractor, some haying equipment, check out the pastures and the corrals so that when that date arrived she could move in and not skip a beat.

  Now, given Tanner’s response—or rather, his lack of one—she was wondering if she should have stayed away until he was gone.

  “Why don’t you come and join us? Tanner made some lemonade, and I think I can find some cookies.”

  “If that’s okay,” Sabine said, still holding back.

  “Of course it is,” Jennie said. But before she turned to lead them to the deck, Sabine caught a glint of tears in the older woman’s eyes.

  What was going on? Had she come in the middle of a situation between Tanner and his grandmother?

  If so, not your worry.

  Sabine lifted her chin and forced aside the questions and concerns, determined to be professional and in charge.

  She followed Jennie up the concrete sidewalk to the wooden steps of the deck, knowing she should be looking around more, inspecting this purchase more closely, but too many questions roiled through her head at the puzzling reception she had received.

  Tanner was standing ramrod straight now, still frowning, though he didn’t seem as upset as he was previously.

  “Hello, Sabine,” he said, giving her a polite smile and walking toward her, hand extended.

  She took it firmly, holding his gaze, determined to show confidence. Show that a woman was every bit as capable as a man.

  “Hello again,” she said, forcing a polite smile to her lips. “Glad we could finally meet face to face after all this time.”

  All their previous interactions had been via text messages, email, and their respective real estate agents. “I’m glad you found the place. Wasn’t too difficult?” he asked.

  “We got lost and had to ask for directions at an enormous house,” Olivia put in, dropping into a chair on the porch as if the place was already home. She leaned back, her hands on the armrests as she swung her feet. “That house at that other place was awesome, but this place looks nice too.”

  “I ended up at the Tye ranch,” Sabine said, trying not to feel too embarrassed, wishing Olivia wasn’t so forthcoming. “Got the numbers of the range roads mixed up.”

  Thankfully, someone had been home. The woman who answered the door didn’t look familiar, but then Zach Tye came to the door and, to her surprise, recognized her. He asked if she want
ed to come in for coffee but she demurred, saying she had to get going.

  But she was surprised Zach remembered her. He had even asked after her father, which created a moment of awkwardness when Sabine had to tell him that her father passed away nine years ago.

  “That happens often,” Jennie assured her. “But now you know where it is, so you’ll find it easier next time.”

  “I hope so.”

  “Just sit down. Make yourself at home. Tanner, can you get a couple more glasses and bring out that cookie tin?”

  Without another glance her way, Tanner went inside.

  Sabine sat on the wooden chair, fighting down a jangle of nerves at Tanner’s behavior. She leaned back, looking out over the property. When she had come here the first time she had tried to take everything in all at once. Though she had snapped a few pictures on her phone, it was still almost surreal to see it now as the owner.

  The grassy yard sloped away from the house toward the road she had just driven up. To the left she saw a large machine shed, empty now, and a few smaller outbuildings beside it.

  Beside that, the ubiquitous red hip-roof barn she saw from the road stood sentinel. Some wooden corrals were linked to the barn, and Sabine knew they needed repair.

  Opposite them and beside the house, tucked into a copse of trees just beyond what looked like the garden, she saw a cabin made of logs with a small verandah, facing the same view she now turned to. She had been enchanted by it. The real estate agent, who had only moved to Rockyview a year ago, couldn’t tell her who had lived there, only that it had been built about twenty-four years ago.

  As her eyes followed the sweep of the land toward the mountains that dominated the skyline, she felt an old hunger in her soul being satisfied by the sight of their rugged peaks.

  It had been so long since she’d been in Rockyview, and for a heartbeat the old resentment toward her father slithered through her again. His actions, or rather inaction, had taken all this away from her. The only place she’d ever loved.